Monday, September 10, 2007
I like the idea of not watching the MTV Video Awards
When I started blogging a few years ago, I'd occasionally watch and "review" MTV awards shows. However, I quickly grew tired of sitting through these fucking things. Most of the time I'd flip the channel about halfway through and watch Family Guy reruns.

Then earlier in the year I had a revelation. Instead of watching the normally dreadful MTV Movie Awards, I just downloaded pictures from their official website and added smart-ass commentary. Yes, it was a new low in blogging, but at least I didn't have to watch MTV. Without further adieu, I present my review of the 2007 MTV Music Awards. And I didn't watch a second of it.

I just posted this picture of Fall Out Boy's lead singer hoping Nick will see it and get an inappropriate workplace erection.

Britney Spears has already been ripped apart on the internet for her performance. She was even called "out of shape". Okay, she may be out of shape in the celebrity world, but in the real world she's still pretty high up on Todd's "Would I Fuck Her?" scale.

Britney may indeed be washed up at age twenty-five, but I'd still like her to bear and later neglect my children.

Move to Louisville and be my common-law wife, Brit. Fried foods are readily available, and you'll never seem out of shape when you're standing next to me!

Kanye West bought his sunglasses at a gas station.

I have nothing else to say about him.

It wasn't shown on air, but Kid Rock punched Tommy Lee, presumably for having a bigger dick.

My question: Was Tommy's hat already positioned in that douchey twenty-degree tilt, or did Kid Rock knock it into Doucheville?

Security should have let those two fight to the death.

I don't know this woman's name, but I do know this: There needs to be more of what she has going on and less asshole dudes sporting sunglasses indoors and wearing uncootered hats.

I'm not a big fan of Justin Timberlake, but the little motherfucker knows how to celebrate a win; I'll give him that. "If I win, I wanna be surrounded by more pussy than most people see in a lifetime, dawg," Timberlake said to his manager, adopting the faux-thug accent that has become his trademark.

Scanning through websites looking for pictures is almost as tiresome as watching the show itself, so that's all I have for you. Really, the whole affair is just like Hot Chicks with Douchebags, but with more money.


Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Do they even play videos on MTV anymore?

Blogger Cravey said...

Thank you.
I have officially seen all I need to of this particular awards show.

And you, were way more fun.


Blogger Übermilf said...

Nick likes Fall Out Boy?


No, seriously. Really?

Blogger miss kendra said...

i watched the britney performance, and that's it.

i think it's really sad that people are criticizing her figure. for a woman who had TWO BABIES IN LESS THAN TWO YEARS she looks great.

her performance was lackluster, but you know, there's only so much browbeating a girl can take.

Blogger Rachel said...

I too watched the Britney "comeback" and nothing else. Not that I really cared but curiosity got the better of me...

man, am I sorry I watched even that much. While it's true that in the real world Britney is by no means out of shape, in comparison to past performances she royally sucked (and I don't mean K-Fed).

Coming here for the review was definitely more entertaining. Thanks hon! Love ya, mean it!

Blogger Melissa said...

I love your running commentary on awards shows far more than the actual awards shows. :)

Britney's smokin' for having had two babies in as many years. Her performance was nothing special, but I can't believe people were saying she looked fat.

Blogger Kate said...

brit can't sing for shit, but i'd gladly take her body over mine any day.

i'd have loved to see kid rock hit tommy lee. white trash fighting is hilarious.

the chick in the pink dress is rhianna.

kanye's head is getting way to big for his shoulders. he needs to be knocked down a per. where's kid rock? lol.

jt is a cutie. but he's about to get a beat down too for his huge ego.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Quit trying to mack on my woman, Todd.

The whole event represents the fact that society is at it's lowest point in human history.

Blogger Jacob said...

Oh my god, how Asian does Pete Wentz look in that photo?!

(response: very Asian)

Blogger Heather said...

Im with miss kendra on this one... as a normal person, Brit has a good body maybe its not rockstar hot anymore but seriously.. cant we all go back to making fun of Lohan?

Blogger Nick said...

I agree with Vast.

And Ubie: Do you ever read my blog? Like ever?

Blogger Shannon said...

I actually caught the beginning of the VMAs (it was a freak accident, believe me), so I saw all the good stuff- Brtiney such and Sarah Silverman make everyone really uncomfortable.

My god is MTV bad.

Blogger J said...

Thanks for the link to that douchebag site again! I had forgotten about that little gem..

Blogger FRITZ said...

this topic has been beaten to death.

is louisville a nice place to live? because i'm thinking of running away, and i arbitrarily chose louisville.

Blogger Nick said...

Arbitrarily is the only way one would end up in Louisville.

Blogger yournamehere said...

no. no they don't.

and it didn't take two hours to read this. Hopefully.

god, don't you ever read Nick's blog?

the four "extra" pounds Britney is carrying are the least of her problems.

she can't move it like she used to. Of course, I'd still bang her.

those same people think Victoria Beckham looks good.

you are just handing out the beat downs, aren't you?

couldn't we share her?

well, at it's lowest point since the release of Phantom Menace.

the Asians should sue.

I'm going to wait until Lohan kicks her drug habit. Then I can insult her lack of talent.

I don't think she ever reads your blog. Never ever.

I can't imagine Sarah Silverman in an actual social situation. She's the Jewish Borat.

I love me some HCWDB.

despite bad mouthing by New York elitists and Kansas rustics, Louisville is a nice place for me and most people I know to live.

Seriously, after my Vegas fiasco I've realized that some cities just aren't for some people, so I don't make any claims.

yes, Louisville is a horrible place and you and your superfluous nipple should stay far away.

Blogger Blonde said...

You would still want to fuck Britney even tho you know where her hoo hoo has been? Yikes!

Rhianna is the hot piece of ass with the melons pictured. I agree with you.

I have missed you terribly!!!! I am back to blogging and I have alot of catching up to do on your blog! I love and miss you!!

Blogger Beth said...

I'm glad I skipped the show and instead experienced it here. Much more entertaining, I'm sure.

I don't get the Fall Out Boy phenom. Am I missing something?

Blogger Übermilf said...

Ha! Superflous nipple!

Hi Todd!

I miss you!

Aren't you coming up my way soon?

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Heh heh. Übie wants you to come up her way.

Blogger Crystal said...

I thought Britney looked lovely, myself. But then what do I know? I'm fucking obese by those folks standards.

Blogger katrocket said...

damn you're funny!

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