I like the idea of not watching the MTV Video Awards

When I started blogging a few years ago, I'd occasionally watch and "review" MTV awards shows. However, I quickly grew tired of sitting through these fucking things. Most of the time I'd flip the channel about halfway through and watch Family Guy reruns.

Then earlier in the year I had a revelation. Instead of watching the normally dreadful MTV Movie Awards, I just downloaded pictures from their official website and added smart-ass commentary. Yes, it was a new low in blogging, but at least I didn't have to watch MTV. Without further adieu, I present my review of the 2007 MTV Music Awards. And I didn't watch a second of it.





I just posted this picture of Fall Out Boy's lead singer hoping Nick will see it and get an inappropriate workplace erection.








Britney Spears has already been ripped apart on the internet for her performance. She was even called "out of shape". Okay, she may be out of shape in the celebrity world, but in the real world she's still pretty high up on Todd's "Would I Fuck Her?" scale.

Britney may indeed be washed up at age twenty-five, but I'd still like her to bear and later neglect my children.

Move to Louisville and be my common-law wife, Brit. Fried foods are readily available, and you'll never seem out of shape when you're standing next to me!















Kanye West bought his sunglasses at a gas station.

I have nothing else to say about him.













It wasn't shown on air, but Kid Rock punched Tommy Lee, presumably for having a bigger dick.

My question: Was Tommy's hat already positioned in that douchey twenty-degree tilt, or did Kid Rock knock it into Doucheville?

Security should have let those two fight to the death.














I don't know this woman's name, but I do know this: There needs to be more of what she has going on and less asshole dudes sporting sunglasses indoors and wearing uncootered hats.







I'm not a big fan of Justin Timberlake, but the little motherfucker knows how to celebrate a win; I'll give him that. "If I win, I wanna be surrounded by more pussy than most people see in a lifetime, dawg," Timberlake said to his manager, adopting the faux-thug accent that has become his trademark.




Scanning through websites looking for pictures is almost as tiresome as watching the show itself, so that's all I have for you. Really, the whole affair is just like Hot Chicks with Douchebags, but with more money.