Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Remember when New York elitism was practiced by people who aren't complete hacks?
I'd like to thank Louisville's own Velocity Weekly for giving me something to be angry about today.

They mention a quote from the New York Post's Mary Huhn, regarding Louisville band Vhs or Beta: "They also chill by shooting hoops, going to a few concerts or hitting dive bars - about the only kinds of fun available in Louisville, Ky., where VHS or Beta formed in 1997 and still resides."

Okay, first of all..."chill"? Who says "chill" in 2007? "Chill"? Really? It reminds me of Regis Philbin when he dons a pair of Ray Bans and tries to be hip. And if a middle-aged honkey from a backwater burg like Louisville knows how over "chill" is, Mary must be the laughing stock of every ubercool Manhattanite.


Oh, that's right...Ubercool Manhattanites don't read the New York Post, because the New York Post is a putrid gossip rag, the crown jewel in Rupert Murdock's Media Empire of Shit. For anyone in the field of journalism, the Post is a fucking joke.

Now that I've called Mary Huhn an out-of-touch cunt who writes for a notorious shitburger, let me address her comments. I'm not going to waste a lot of time listing other things to do in Louisville besides the three activities she mentions. Hell, all I do here is hang out in dive bars and eat at independently owned restaurants. I'd probably do the same thing if I lived in NYC, and pay a lot more for the privilege. My problem with her is that, being a lazy writer with no sense of curiosity, she just assumes there's nothing else to do in Louisville based on the preferences of the band members.

It would be like if I interviewed Mary Huhn and concluded that the only things to do in New York City are write poorly for the Post and lend one's mouth to the business end of a Bowery District glory hole, just because that's what Mary Huhn does. Do you see the fallacy of such a conclusion? If so, the New York Post needs you.


36 Comments:

Blogger miss kendra said...

also, "shooting hoops?"

ahh the beauty of old people trying to sound cool.

someone write her a letter and tell her "shooting hoops" has now been replaced by "giving blumpkins" and see what she says.

Blogger Melissa said...

Is "chill" retro usage coming back into favor?

Searching for a reason why a writer would use the term, is all.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I vote that "giving blumpkins" should be a new euphemism for blowjobs.

It would make me almost as happy as a ride on the smile train.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Her writing is on par with the paper she works for - in other words, it sucks.

Blogger Tracy said...

"...lend one's mouth to the business end of a Bowery District glory hole"

That is just priceless.
Todd, i think i love you all over again

xoxo

Blogger Sysm said...

You need to get with the program, sir. New York, Washington and L.A. are the only places that matter in the U.S.

The rest of the country is full of slack-jawed yokels, whose primary source of enjoyment is pressing their feces through Play-Doh Fun Factory molds.

(ok, maybe that's just an Illinois thing)

Blogger Anthony said...

The ubercool no longer live in Manhattan, they all moved to Brooklyn.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Where's Louisville? I don't have a map.

Blogger jacksongirl said...

awesome. long-time reader first-time poster here. and i happen to love VHS or Beta... i just reviewed them for our local rag here in "backwards" Jackson, MS. i refrained from using "chill," or "shooting hoops," or any lame terminology: JFP

Blogger Mackenzie said...

Dude, take an anger management course or something. Mary Huhn rules, and so does the Post.

Blogger Sara said...

dude. nobody says "ubercool" in 2007.

Blogger supercontroller said...

Who spells "honky" with an "e"? Who writes "laughingstock" as two words? Hmm, a provincial douchebag with an inferiority complex, maybe? I hope my sister, the cunt, never goes out of her way to publicize a band from your city again. And I'll be sure to let VHS or Beta know how the locals go off when someone from the Big City tries to do them a solid.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I told you to write about peach pie, and you didn't listen.

Now people are mad at you for having an opinion again.

Will you never learn? Opinions are hurtful and dangerous.

Blogger supercontroller said...

Having an opinion is fine. Gratuitous vulgarity directed towards someone you don't know and have no fear of confronting is something else - specifically, it's lazy and cowardly. Oh, but wait – I forgot – being a cheapshot artist is one of the main joys of blogging. Really, I think you just drained the last remaining insult value from the word "cunt." And where do you think she got the idea that there wasn't much to do in Louisville – she just made it up? No, your homeboys probably told her that, because that's what bands from the provinces do to make themselves seem hip to writers from the big city.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Gratuitous vulgarity is the cornerstone of this blog.

Blogger Anthony said...

Gratuitous vulgarity is the cornerstone of the internet.

Blogger CAMCAM said...

WTF? Where did all these attacks come from???

There may be rage issues here, but that makes for a great read!

Keep up the good work dude...

Blogger yournamehere said...

jacksongirl,

thanks for the link to the review.

Blogger yournamehere said...

mackenzie,

can you recommend a course? I need one.

Blogger yournamehere said...

sara,

well, I say "ubercool", but thanks for taking the time to create a profile.

Blogger yournamehere said...

supercontroller,

-I'm such a honky, it deserves the "e".

-Spell check failed me on laughing stock. I don't employ an editor for this seldom-read blog.

-I have a MASSIVE inferiority complex, thank you very much.

-New Yorkers love to use the word "provincial". Glad I could help.

-I apologize for calling your sister a cunt. If someone on the internet insulted my brother in such a way, I'd be extremely upset.

Blogger yournamehere said...

ubie,

I wrote about the deliciousness of peach pie, but the diabetics just tore me apart.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Dude, Mary's friends are totally pissed at you. You totally didn't do her a solid.

Dude.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Like, totally.

Blogger Nick said...

Todd, your brother's a cunt.

Blogger Nick said...

I seriously love this blog.

This has the potential to be David Soul all over again.

Happier days, my friend. Happier days.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Todd, your brother's a republican.

Blogger yournamehere said...

scarlet,
you're the cat's meow.

Nick,
you provincial douchebag!

ubie,
them's fightin' words.

oh, wait...he is a Republican.

Nick, be sure to spike your Kool Aid tonight with some rat poison.

Blogger Sysm said...

Todd - i'll grant you she is ill-informed, and not a terribly strong writer. That kind of shit usually evens itself out with a short tenure in the profession before transitioning to some form of P.R. hackery.

But "cunt" is a word that, in my neck of the woods, is reserved for someone who has done something particularly heinous to me or mine.

Blogger Sysm said...

btw - i'm not slamming you. i agree with your point. but i give credit to her brother for standing up for her.

Cool?

Ubercool?

Blogger yournamehere said...

vast,
Nick has built up an immunity to rat poison. I think he was just joking because I said I wouldn't want anyone to personally attack my brother, but you never know with him.

sysm,
you are a hundred percent correct. I regret using that word against her.

Blogger ginonymous said...

did you just sort of say "i'm sorry"?

now i've seen it all..

Blogger yournamehere said...

gin,
I apologized earlier. This was the second time for the same thing.

Blogger Nick said...

Todd - I think your brother understands sarcasm just fine by himself. Let him be his own man.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Dear Abby,

thanks for the advice. Turd.

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