Thursday, September 27, 2007
Mistrial? You've got to be fucking kidding me!

The murder trial of Phil Spector has ended in a mistrial due to a deadlocked jury.

Stop rubbing your eyes. You read it correctly.

Despite hearing testimony from the defendant's chauffeur, who claimed Spector told him "I think I just killed someone", two jurors couldn't come back with a guilty verdict. Despite FIVE women telling them that they were each threatened by a gun-toting Spector, two fucking idiots still think he's innocent.

Well, at least ten people on the Phil Spector jury have clicking neurons, so I guess it's an improvement over the twelve starstruck morons who acquitted OJ and the twelve clueless simpletons who let Robert Blake go free.

Jesus Christ, what is it about California juries? Just once, just one fucking time, put an obviously guilty washed-up celebrity in prison! Please? Right now Gary Coleman is at a Hollywood YMCA, planning a killing spree. He knows he won't do any time for it.

Trouble is, some people don't know the meaning of "reasonable doubt". They get "doubt"; it's "reasonable" they're having a problem with. There's a fine line between healthy skepticism and not being able to tell your dick from a donut.


18 Comments:

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

The hair alone is enough to lock him up and throw away the key.

Blogger ÜberFlounder said...

The caption above his head should read SCIENCE!

Blogger Anthony said...

What does Einstein have to do with this?

Blogger UberDILF said...

I don't have a dick.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Oh my God, I posted that with Dilf's account.

That made it much funnier.

Blogger miss kendra said...

i like donuts.

My favorite donut is the Sprinksmidge for Lunatics (like me). I sat on a jury in Louisville back in the day, and it forever changed my mind about our jury system. Who in their right mind would actually want a jury of their peers?

The good news is Bin Laden has been captured! The bad news is that he is being tried in L.A.

Blogger Nick said...

I have no idea who this guy is.

Blogger Steph said...

I so want to become a celebrity just so I can stab some bitches who get on my nerves.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

You can't possibly be serious, Nick. Phil Spector may be a crazy, murderous motherfucker, but he also revolutionized popular music.

Also, dick v. donut? I get confused by that one, too, sometimes. Both are so delicious!

Blogger KELSO'S NUTS said...

The bad news is he got a mis-trial with a rock solid case against him.

The good news is that there were no scenes of jubiliant Jews celebrating the acquital.

The neutral news is that I'm Jewish and I don't live in the States so none of this makes a damned bit of difference to me.

Blogger FRITZ said...

You know what I wish?

I wish that whole fucking state, with its stars and its vegans and its 'don't smoke anywhere near me' and its guvernator would all fucking secede from the rest of the states. And then, we could fucking blow it to smithereens for being a duplicitous threat to the state of the nation. I HATE CALIFORNIA.

Thank you for the opportunity to rant.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I think Fritz is angry.

Blogger Teddy Bear Giraffe said...

This just makes me angry.

Blogger Nick said...

When iz Fritz not angry?

Tits, I'm serious.

Blogger Rach said...

I'm sorry but the hair just blew me away. I agree with everything you have said but the hair just has me mesmerised
Rachel

Blogger Ben said...

Reasonable doubt? Is this a civil trial? Do you know what a shadow of a doubt is? That was one of the key differences between the OJ trials and he was found guilty when reasonable doubt was involved.

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