-What's funny to a fat guy? A fatter guy. And a fatter guy standing next to an oversized crowned orange? Hilarious.
This is Kansas football coach Mark Mangino. His team is going to the Orange Bowl, and I'm convinced it's because the Bowl Committee wanted to match him up with his mascot doppleganger.
-Whenever I see Tyler Perry or George Lopez on TV, I find it oddly refreshing that minorities are adequately represented by unfunny comedians. Why should whitey Bogart all the mediocrity?
-Really though, Mark Mangino is skinnier than Tyler Perry is funny.
-If God doesn't want me to drink a lot of bourbon, then why do I do it?
-I noticed that the number one search on Yahoo! today was High School Musical 2; but number two was Citizen Kane. Ah, the duality of man.
-I don't like the holiday season. Maybe it's because my twin brother was killed by a mall santa. I don't know.