Tuesday, March 11, 2008
A Day in the Life of Catherine the Great's Lover, Wayne
Let's travel back to 18th Century Russia for a look at the life of Wayne, a lover of Catherine the Great.

Catherine the Great: "Frankly Wayne, I find you unsatisfying as a sex partner."

Wayne: "You....you fuck horses."

Catherine: "And?"

Wayne: "And how am I supposed to compete with a giant horse cock?"

Catherine: "Oh, it isn't your size, it's your lack of technique. Size doesn't matter to me."

Wayne: "Then why do you fuck horses? If size doesn't matter to you, why do you accept equine dick? For the stimulating conversation?"

Catherine: "This subject has become tiresome. If you aren't even going to try to equal the sexual prowess of Oatsfarts, my beloved stallion, then I have no use for you."

(Two palace guards proceed to take Wayne to the guillotine)

Wayne: "I'll see you in hell, horse fucker!"


Blogger Nick said...

I doubt the veracity of this conversation.

Blogger John said...

Catherine gets a bum rap on that one. She didn't actually fuck horses... she was constantly fucking the men in her calvary, though, which is probably where that myth began. When she saw one she liked, she'd have some chick in her court sleep with them to make sure they made the grade. Then she'd take her turn. So, while still a retarded babydick having drooler, Nick actually lucked out and guessed right on this one. I think a plague of locusts is next up.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

How cheerful.

Blogger dguzman said...

Poor Wayne.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Wayne should've studied and practiced.

He only has himself to blame.

Blogger Nick said...


Blogger Lauren said...

You're right. Horses have no panache, no élan, no verve! I'd totally prefer Wayne.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Awesome, every horse fucking freak on the internets will now be landing on your blog.

Fuck horses!
Horse fucker!
Horse dicks!

Blogger Nick said...

We're already here. I mean they. They're already here.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you people are freaks. lol.

Blogger Tracy said...

Todd, you are not a stable boy.


I think I'll have "I'll see you in hell" engraved on my tombstone.

Blogger flounder said...

What brought about this post?

Were you reading the paper with a little porn on for background noise, saw an ad for the Derby, and thought Who in history had a reputation for horse fucking?

Blogger FRITZ said...

That was funny, Tracy!

Not a stable boy!

I get it!

I don't like horse penises. As a general rule, I think they are unbecoming.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

Have I ever shared my Wayne theory with you? Google Wayne and serial killer and see how many hits you get- Catherine didn't scorn Wayne because he wasn't hung like a horse, it was because of his serial killer tendencies.

Oh goodness, is your middle name Wayne?

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