Friday, March 07, 2008
Casinos and Spite
The new Governor of Kentucky (the HHIC, or Head Hillbilly in Charge) wants to allow casino gambling in this state. I wasn't all that excited about having a casino in Louisville, because I know it won't be as cool as this. That casino/resort was just a few miles from my home in Henderson, Nevada. If they aren't going to build something that good, why bother?

However, I've changed my mind and now want casino gambling in Kentucky. Why? To piss off the god damn self-appointed moral guardians who oppose it. The bible-thumpin' mountain folk are all up in arms, worried that someone somewhere might experience a moment of joy.

Annoying interlopers from all over the state infested the capitol yesterday to protest the evils of gambling. Well, not horse racing or the lottery; they're both sanctioned by God, but that's another story. But casinos, to these people, are dens of iniquity patronized by city folk and/or *gasp* minorities.

The front page of yesterday's newspaper showed two protesters, a couple of Church Lady types from Middlesboro, Kentucky. Middlesboro? Are you fucking kidding me? Ladies, there won't be any casinos built in Middlesboro, so take the horse and buggy back home and shut your fucking man-pleasers. They aren't going to tear down the General Store to build a casino there. I'm pretty sure the statue of native son Lee Majors is safe from the wrecking ball.

Yes, from now on all of my political beliefs will be based on spite.


10 Comments:

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Yeah, Lee Majors won't fall, guy.

Ouch.

Well said, T. I hope they call it "Kentucky Fried Slots Over Jesus."

I spent entirely too much time in Middlesboro when I was in high school. I lved in the Virginia county that bordered it. Man I hated Middlesboro. And the backwater county in VA where I lived as well.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I bet it won't pass.

Blogger John said...

I went to the one on the boat over in Southern Indiana last time I was home. But it wasn't much fun because it was so crowded. I think that shows how lucrative it could be for the state. Like that'll matter.

Blogger flounder said...

I would love to have a statue of Lee Majors in my hometown. All we have is Jebediah Springfield.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Church Lady types from Middlesboro will be the first ones to line up at the slots when it finally opens up.

Blogger jazzbonejoe said...

heh. man-pleasers. Good one.

Blogger jesse said...

time after time.... Vegas life style is spreading like a wildfire in upper hills of San Diego. Except instead of hookers, you get some more hillbillies.

Your right, it would look more like Club Fortune on Boulder Highway than the GVR. By the way, aren't you coming here this month?

Blogger yournamehere said...

ian,
I'm going to patent that name.

monkerstein,
Middlesboro? I'm sorry.

ubermilf,
the morons always get what they want.

john,
if they would let a private enterprise run it (such as Station Casinos, which runs a lot of the local casinos in Vegas) it would be a lot better than letting the stupid state go it alone.

flounder,
but a noble spirit DOES embiggen the smallest man.

scarlet,
not if it's in Louisville, the devil's playground.

jazzbone,
yeah, I'm sure I stole that.

jesse,
oh, there will be hookers. There'd better be!

vast,
ouch. Club Fortune. When I visit, let's hit the Club Fortune buffet. I have a hankerin' for some of the yellow.

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