If the topic is religion, why the picture of this delicious Maker's Mark bourbon and Coke? Soon, all will be revealed.
In years past I was a counselor at a church camp. No, really. Stop laughing. Actually, it's a very liberal, non-fundamentalist denomination; and no, I never hit any of the campers in the face with a shovel, even though many of them deserved it.
Flash forward to this past Saturday night. I was out on the town celebrating the fact that Louisville beat Georgetown and trying to forget the pimp suit that Louisville coach Rick Pitino wore during the game. While at a dueling piano bar, listening to a few marginally talented guys butcher songs that weren't good to begin with, I ran into one of my former campers, who is now a cocktail server there. She gladly provided free drinks for the remainder of the evening.
What is the point, other than the fact that I'm very very old and should never go anywhere but early bird dinners at the local cafeteria? Well, it puts a positive spin on organized religion. Thanks to church camp, I got to drink for free. Praise the Lord and pass the Maker's and Coke!
16 Comments:
What, no fudge?
i think that's your heavenly reward right there.
If I were you I'd be googling my little heart out to see if any other campers may have jobs that would facilitate more mooching.
I just found out that the first kid I babysat for now dates "older women." Translated = chicks my age. I feel so dirty.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Gotta love the UCC. I think it's actually mandated in that church that you should ply your elders with free drinks. Of course, the church I attended was in Shively...
They gay dude that stored his art equipment in my garage once gave me a free Heine Brothers coffee on Sunday. I was pretty excited. Of course, gay artsy dudes and campers are probably two different animals.
The megachurch I attend weekly for the sake of my daughter who likes the activities in Sunday School, has a coffee shop, which comes in handy. I can pretend I am in a funky coffee shop, sipping the elixir of the bean while brushing up on militarily useful Serbian, while watching people offer their terrorized children to be immersed in a frigid hot tub diluted with baby piss.
This post made me realize I would very likely prefer a stiff drink to get through church. Or a high capacity 12-gauge riot shotgun.
Oh, the stories I could tell about our dear blog author and his hijinx at Church Camp in our younger days. Youth Group events, too. I sure wish he was rich and successful, for my offshore bank account would be fairly brimming with proceeds from all the glorious blackmailing. Sigh. But I'll refrain, Todd. Some secrets should go to the grave, right?
No one I know from band camp ever plys me with free booze. I feel cheated AND dorky now...
ian,
I guess every mediocre liberal christian deserves fudge too.
kendra,
it's really more than I deserve.
angelique,
actually, a few months ago another former camper gave me free drink tickets for the restaurant/bar where she works. So really, I am cleaning up.
pants,
when I was ten, my sixteen-year-old babysitter's best friend kinda sorta made out with me. Was I molested? Either way, it was awesome.
scarlet,
yes She does.
tango,
damn it woman, when are you coming to town? Cheap bourbon awaits!!!
lauren,
I remember when I asked you, "Hey, can I store my equipment in your garage?" you threw your drink in my face.
jl,
my cousin was married at Six Flags Over Jesus here in Louisville. I like my churches a little less mega.
john,
if I ever become rich and successful, the check is already in the mail, dude. Of course, you're smart enough not to count on that...
ambitious,
I would give you all the free booze you could handle, but I'd have an ulterior motive.
ian,
I was referring to myself as the mediocre liberal christian, not you.
Don't listen to his lies Ian.
I think one of those lousy humps you shepherded through summer camp owes you a decent job.
i'm more of a wild turkey on the rocks guy but hey, free bourbon is free bourbon.
P.T.L.!!
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