Sunday wasn't a very good day for Tom Brady. First, he was awakened at 6am by the sound of Randy Moss beating a hooker. Then his team, in one of the most historic choke jobs ever, lost the Super Bowl. And finally, his latest supermodel girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen, dumped him before he could impregnate her.
The Death Wore a Feathered Mullet news team released this written account of the Big Dump:
Tom Brady: (admiring himself in mirror) "Hey babe, we lost."
Gisele: (in hot Brazilian supermodel style broken English) "I know. I watch game from box in sky."
Tom Brady: "Yeah, the owner's luxury sky box. Nice, huh?"
Gisele: "The wine was swill and odor was of a Rio de Jaineiro ghetto, but that not important. You lost contest, and that make Gisele not smile. I leave you for forehead boy, winner of contest."
Tom Brady: "You're dumping me for Eli Manning? But..but...I'm much more handsome."
Gisele: "It matters not. I want be penetrated by cock of champion."
So there you have it. Gisele is now giving it up to this guy. He is going to Disney World.