A few weeks ago when the Dallas Cowboys started to play absolutely horrible football, I was pretty sure they wouldn't be making the Super Bowl, but I didn't think the fucking New York Giants would beat them.
All season I've been mocking the Giants' shitty quarterback, Eli "Stephen Baldwin" Manning. So of course his team knocks the Cowboys out of the playoffs. Lousy poetic justice!
For the record, I like my crow cooked medium-rare and served with an Argentinian chimichurri sauce.
-In other less disturbing news, I've decided to add "Hitler" to my arsenal of insults. As in "That shirt looks like something Hitler would have worn," or "Your band sounds like Hitler is playing lead guitar." Try this yourself, although experts agree that "Did you just fuck me with Hitler's dick?" and "You fuck like Hitler with a hoo-hah" are simply out of bounds.
9 Comments:
I will also avoid insulting anyone's baking or Poland-invading thusly.
Would you like a Bud & Clamato to wash down that crow?
Tom Brady is Hitler's quarterback.
Flounder is Hitler's fluffer.
Well said Scarlet and Flounder.
Holy hell, is that Stephen Baldwin reference hilarious!
This whole NFL season has been Hitler. I guess it's only fair that Dick Cheney Belichick is the best coach right now.
Nick is my fluffer.
Damn. I'm Hitler's fluffer's fluffer.
You've shamed me Flounder. Now, I'm going to be forced to live as a vagrant and work as a prostitute. Hopefully, someday, a man will fall in love with me and we can run away together and live off of our Orange fortune.
That man: Ernest Borgnine.
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