Tuesday, January 01, 2008
The most satisfying beer ever
On New Year's Eve, I worked at the store from 9am-6pm. I'd say it was a zoo, but zoos have a more pleasant smell and less screeching from knuckle-dragging apes. I was meeting friends for dinner at 7, so I left work and drove to the restaurant's parking lot.

A coworker had given me a bottle of Fat Tire (not available in Louisville) that he brought back from St. Louis, so I sat in my car and enjoyed the beer. But most enjoyable of all was the silence, the sanity-restoring lack of noise. For the past month I've been pummeled by the sounds of stupidity. I've had a lifetime's supply of cranky old men, weaselly underage douchebags, keg-sucking fratfucks, young women who get mad when they're asked for ID, old women who get mad when they aren't asked for ID, vagrants who smell of meth fumes and regret, pushy type-A's who sigh dramatically if one person is ahead of them in line, unsupervised children, and crazy ass motherfuckers. It was a nonstop din of humanity's lesser lights.

God damn, did I enjoy drinking that beer without having to hear anyone flap his or her pud pleasers. Without that time by myself, I don't think I would have enjoyed the rest of the evening nearly as much.

I hope everyone has a great 2008. Unless you plan on running for president on the Republican ticket, in which case I hope your 2008 is a series of failures that eventually leads to your public suicide.


16 Comments:

Blogger miss kendra said...

sometimes silence is the best gift of all.

happy new year!!!

Blogger Windrider said...

Right back at you..

Ah, car silence moments.. The public has no idea how much those little gem's keep them safe from harm.

Glad it was a good one for you.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I miss silence.

Happy new year!

Blogger Lauren said...

I've thought about having a martini on my lunch break before, but I've never done it. You may have inspired me to finally go for it.

I hope you have a great 2008, too. Let's both get better jobs this year.

Blogger Moderndayhermit said...

The best post ever on multiple levels. The cliche silence is golden was not coined out of sheer stupidity.

I wish I could articulate in a somewhat elegant fashion how much I loved that last paragraph.

Blogger Hot Lemon said...

huh... I had a similar x-perience on 12/30 at EPCOT. I bought a Boddingtons at the outdoor pub for the Rose and Crown and drank it in a side street somewhere in the UK while my youngest was in the toy shop visiting Pooh and Tigger and Eeyore. The SILENCE! The CALM! the 86 DEGREE WEATHER IN DECEMBER!!

mmmm...

Blogger Ambitious Blonde said...

Happy new year to you too, Todd. :)

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Where's the free cheese?

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

You know I bought some cheese AND crackers last time I was here.

Blogger Jeannie said...

That would be incredibly satisfying - mainly because it's also incredibly illegal here.

I decided to run for President. Thank you for the well wishes. Our existing nepotism agreement is right out the window Mister. Damned dirty libs.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Happy New Year, sweetie.

Blogger kirby said...

Oh, yeah. Fat Tire will do that to you.

Blogger E Flo said...

fuck yes.

Blogger pastlifecarthief said...

they make fat tire here in my town about 3 blocks away from where I live so neener. thought you might need to know that.

"Meth fumes and regret," feckin' brilliant.

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