I'm not going to insult anyone's intelligence by suggesting I'm posting this picture for any reason other than Eva Mendes' breathtaking turd cutter, but I would like to make a few comments.

I think fur is tacky and rather pointless, but other than that I'm not a PETA guy. I like to eat steaks and fried chicken, for example, and I don't think they're on the menu at the PETA Christmas party.

And as far as animal testing goes, let's use some common sense. It's cruel and unnecessary to spray bunny rabbits in their eyes with perfume to see if it blinds them (uh, it will); but if medical science can find a cure for cancer by hacking up a few monkeys, they need to start sharpening their scalpels. It comes down to valuing human life over the life of an animal. Even though a lot of individuals don't deserve such consideration, I have to support humankind as a whole.

And this photo begs the question: Does Eva Mendes support the entire PETA doctrine? Is that the ass of a vegan? Does she ever protest in front of a slaughterhouse or rescue Chimps from research labs?

"What happened to Mr. Sparkles?"

"Eva Mendes stole him."

"Damn her! I was teaching him how to roller skate."

So if you're scoring at home I'm against the fur trade but for thick steaks cooked over an open flame to medium rare. And Eva's butt should be on the dollar bill.