Friday, January 11, 2008
Okay, Miller Lite isn't the worst drink ever...

It's a common scenario: After a hard day's work, you go to your favorite bar and order a cold beer. After one or two sips, you realize the problem...

It isn't "clammy" enough.

The fine corporate barons at Budweiser and Clamato have fused their brains to create the answer to your prayers, Chelada. At long last, the flavors of clam, tomato, and mass-produced swill beer are brought together in a symphony of awfulness that is damn near unimaginable.

I have had horrible concoctions in my lifetime. My grandfather used to bastardize his German heritage by drinking Sterling from a can, and taking a sip as a child turned me off of the beverage for years. In college, I shared Raspberry Ripple with a co-ed, neither of which tasted very good, as it turned out.

Then of course, there are my patented Bourbon and Kaopectate smoothies, but they serve a medicinal purpose.

Congratulations, makers of shit, for solving a problem that didn't exist.



22 Comments:

Blogger Übermilf said...

This isn't true.

It can't be.

Blogger KeithAlanK said...

It's true.
http://zzakksgarage.blogspot.com/2007/07/ewww.html

Blogger GiveEmHellHarry said...

The laborers from one of my jobs used to drink this concoction all the time. Large bottle of clamato and a twelver of budweiser. They used to try to get me to take a sip but I would rather empty and Andy Gump with a straw.

Blogger Jeannie said...

You would think anyone retarded enough to want clamato in their beer would quietly mix their own in a dark corner and keep their shameful secret to themselves.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I find poop soup more believable.

Blogger Lauren said...

In college, I shared Raspberry Ripple with a co-ed, neither of which tasted very good, as it turned out.

Now when I tell you to shut your filthy mouth, it'll be twice as true.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Let's all drink Chelada and have a release party in Todd's hot tub.

I bet it's made with tainted clams.

Blogger Ambitious Blonde said...

Miller...and CLAM JUICE?

::blinks::

That? Surely has the mark of the beast somewhere on the can.

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

From the same people who bought you green and purple ketchup.

Some of my old friends used to drink a "Redeye" which was tomato juice poured into a beer. It looked a bit too much like vaginal discharge for my tatses.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I just threw up a little.

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

It's so horrifyingly true.

This is why, EVERY DAY, I a so proud that I do not work for those douchebags, but rather a real beer company.

Clamato is very popular in Latin America so they are trying to appeal to that demographic and get them to drink more beer - it's still gross though.

Clamato is also quite popular in parts of Canada where they use it to replace the tomato juice in Bloody Mary's in a nasty concoction called a Bloody Caesar.

I'm here to help and have and insider marketing info in the beverage biz.

Blogger Hey Jo said...

At least they used Budweiser and not a Miller product. That, would then consitute alcohol abuse.

Clamato is only good in Bloody Mary's with lots of horseradish and celery salt

Blogger Hot Lemon said...

horrors!

Blogger Steph said...

But Why?

People are stupid.

Blogger Sam said...

Way back when I saw it used as a "cure" for a hangover. Like the clammy hair of the dog that bite you.

Blogger WendyB said...

I feel weirdly attracted to this idea.

Blogger miss kendra said...

VERY popular in the latino community. available EVERYWHERE here.

Blogger dguzman said...

NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

That's gross.

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