In case you haven't noticed, it's I Hate Your Band Day here at DWAFM. In fact, I'm going to keep that slogan as my blog's tagline for the foreseeable future.
Obviously, I didn't invent "I hate your band" but I'm co-opting it, because "I hate your band" is the go-to insult for today's bitter curmudgeon.
Bothered by the hippie band bassist who works at the local coffee shop? "No, I do not want soy milk in my latte. I HATE YOUR BAND!"
Is some skate punk thrash metal douche bumming change in front of your favorite brew pub? "I'm not giving you a cent and I HATE YOUR BAND!"
In fact, if you frequent independently-owned restaurants, bars, record stores, etc., everyone you come into contact with, both employee and customer, will be in a band. And those four words will sting, man.
If you work in a professional setting you probably don't interact with a lot of aspiring musicians, but never fear. "I hate your band" becomes a confounding non sequitur when screamed in mock anger at your company's IT guy. Yell it at your lame-ass boss when you decide to quit. He'll think you know about his homoerotic childhood obsession with The Bay City Rollers and he'll go home to cry in front of his children.
Tune in again next week when our featured insult will be "Your mom sells her mouth for a nickel."