Thursday, June 05, 2008
Crystal Boob Persuasion
I don't do a lot of memes anymore, but this is my second in a row and I have valid excuses.

I really liked the rock band album meme, so I borrowed it even though there was no tagging involved. Then, lo and behold, Crystal from the mega-blog Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper done went and tagged my ass. I've admired her from afar for three years now, so I couldn't say no.

There will be one modification, though. I'm not going to tag anyone. I'll just answer the questions. If you'd like to answer the questions on your blog, let us know and we'll all go over to your blog and read it and all get along swimmingly.

What was I doing ten years ago?
I was living at the spacious yet crappy Doral Apartments with my friend Dave. I vaguely remember waking up every Sunday morning and vowing to God almighty that I'd never drink again (I lied. Repeatedly). And some strip clubs were visited.

What are five things on my list to do today?
Well, the day is over, but I got a few things accomplished.
1. Against my better judgment, I got up and went to work. It sucked, big surprise.
2. I got gas for the car. Every single time I have to purchase gasoline, it's like getting fucked up the ass by Dick Cheney sporting a studded titanium strap-on.
3. I went to the grocery and bought some food.
4. I went to Target and bought some Targety stuff.
5. There is no number five. What am I, some kind of a hyper achiever?

Snacks I enjoy?
"Snacks I don't enjoy" would be a shorter list.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
-Buy a house in either the Highlands or Crescent Hill neighborhoods of Louisville.

-Take care of friends and family.

-Buy one of those nice condos on the Las Vegas Strip.

-Start dating women who only like me for my money (Secretly, every man's dream).

-Travel a lot. When I'm in Chicago, the Italian beef sandwiches are on me.

-Donate to worthy charities.

-Buy the Fox network just to cancel American Idol.

Three of my bad habits?
Only three?
I have no ambition. I can't keep my weight down. I'm increasingly impatient.

Five places I have lived?
I'm not a world traveler, that's for sure. I've lived in Louisville, KY; Henderson, NV; and Louisville again. Really, that's enough. There are always vacations.

Five jobs I've had?
In no particular order:
Kentucky Kingdom
Six Flags owns this dump now, but when I worked there it was owned by a vagrant who won it in a poker game. Seriously, it was a fucking joke. We all had to wear double polyester shirts in the sweltering humidity, so twice a week an employee would almost die of heat stroke.
Organized Living, Henderson, NV
The "executives" who ran this place should be rounded up and executed.
Long defunct cafe in Louisville
I was on salary at this place and I think my pay averaged out to ten cents an hour. Old people would call at 7am and ask what our soup of the day was going to be. One time I said "Cream of Get a Life".
Pier One, Henderson, NV
I ate like a fucking king at this job. The ladies who worked there brought food Every. Single. Day. I've never had breakfast burritos as good.
Equus Restaurant, Louisville
Years ago I worked at one of the best restaurants in town, and I'm sure they got immediately better the day I quit.

How did I name my blog?
This blog was originally called Viva Las Vegass (hence the URL) because it told the reader I lived in Las Vegas and had the word "ass" in it. When I moved back to Louisville, I considered calling the blog The BluegrASS State (continuing the "ass" theme) or Loserville, Kuntucky. Instead, I got really really drunk and named it Death Wore a Feathered Mullet.

Remember, kids, if you want to answer these questions you should consider getting a hobby. Uh, I mean you should let us know in the comments.


6 Comments:

Blogger Crystal said...

See? That title, alone, made it soooo worth tagging you. You never disappoint :)

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I did this already.

As I already did the rock album thing.

Months ago.

If you cared, you'd remember.

Blogger Blonde said...

Thank you for making me laugh so hard I cried and couldn't breathe. I needed this. I need you :).

Blogger Jeannie said...

Your title brought back memories - I'll bet you've been thinking about how to work it in here for about 3 years.

I might do this. Sometime. But thanks for starting the precedent for not tagging.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Dick Cheney is a total pig with that studded titanium strap-on. What does he have against foreplay?

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I consider myself tagged, because I am a pathetic blogger of late. Also, I'm going to assume that "take care of friends and family" includes me.

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