Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My favorite candy bar is Hershey's Krackel. I've been known to crash parties and eat all of the Krackel in the bag of Hershey's Miniatures. Then I say "This is a pretty lame-ass party. Have the next one catered, asshole. But thanks for the Krackel!"

It is damn near impossible to find a full-sized Krackel bar, probably due to the inexplicable market domination of the vastly inferior Nestle Crunch Bar, so digging through a bag of Hershey's Miniatures is my only recourse.

The Nestle Crunch Bar, the darling of the candy bar world, is as unworthy of its top status as Jay Leno; and it can be found everywhere. "Thank you for choosing the Scarborough Free Clinic to terminate your unwanted pregnancy. Please accept this Nestle Crunch Bar as our gift to you."

If you're keeping score at home, the final results are:

Krackel is delicious.

Nestle Crunch sucks.

Jay Leno's popularity is a microcosm of everything that is wrong with society.


Blogger Jeannie said...

Never had a Krackel. We don't get so much Hershey's around here. I don't really like their chocolate anyway.

But I agree totally about Leno.

Yeah, I like my candy bars filled with caramel and peanuts and nougat. Without all that stuff, no candy bar really seems worth the effort.

Blogger John said...

Krackel whore.

Blogger Nick said...

Krackel's are for toothless, boy-hungry pedophiles.

Blogger flounder said...

The Krackel is truly underrated. It's the Denny Crum of the candy world.

Blogger onewaybanter said...

so good, it's like krack.

you should start a facebook group for this bad boy.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

John, that might be the best comment I have ever seen. You are my hero.

Blogger Nick said...

Don't encourage him, Hands.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Have you ever been to Hershey, PA? The whole city smells like chocolate. I was perpetually hungry and aroused the entire time I was there.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Nothing solves the problems of the world like cheap candy.

Blogger Jo said...

I give up! Krackel bars get you 10 comments? There's no logic here.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I've only had Krackels in miniature. A full size bar intrigues me.

Nestle's seems to be stale all the time.

Nick also likes Pizza Hut.

Of course Nestle's Crunch blows. It's made by those pussy French bastards.

They actually have little bits of surrender in them.

Blogger fancy freelancer said...

Nestle is Swiss.

Really, what's the difference? I stand corrected.

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

Leno was really, really funny back in the days that he was a guest on Letterman's show. It made it that much more puzzling as to how unfunny he became when he put Johnny Carson's shoes on.

Blogger John said...

4 out of 5 toothless, boy-hungry pedophiles surveyed prefer Nick.

Blogger Nick said...

What can I say, I'm like Brawndo for pedophiles.

Blogger Blonde said...

I LOVE Krackel. I always steal them out of my grandmothers candy dish and also children's halloween bags.

Nothing makes me happier and wetter then a whatchamacallit bar though.

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