My favorite candy bar is Hershey's Krackel. I've been known to crash parties and eat all of the Krackel in the bag of Hershey's Miniatures. Then I say "This is a pretty lame-ass party. Have the next one catered, asshole. But thanks for the Krackel!"
It is damn near impossible to find a full-sized Krackel bar, probably due to the inexplicable market domination of the vastly inferior Nestle Crunch Bar, so digging through a bag of Hershey's Miniatures is my only recourse.
The Nestle Crunch Bar, the darling of the candy bar world, is as unworthy of its top status as Jay Leno; and it can be found everywhere. "Thank you for choosing the Scarborough Free Clinic to terminate your unwanted pregnancy. Please accept this Nestle Crunch Bar as our gift to you."
If you're keeping score at home, the final results are:
Krackel is delicious.
Nestle Crunch sucks.
Jay Leno's popularity is a microcosm of everything that is wrong with society.
18 Comments:
Never had a Krackel. We don't get so much Hershey's around here. I don't really like their chocolate anyway.
But I agree totally about Leno.
Yeah, I like my candy bars filled with caramel and peanuts and nougat. Without all that stuff, no candy bar really seems worth the effort.
Krackel's are for toothless, boy-hungry pedophiles.
The Krackel is truly underrated. It's the Denny Crum of the candy world.
so good, it's like krack.
you should start a facebook group for this bad boy.
John, that might be the best comment I have ever seen. You are my hero.
Don't encourage him, Hands.
Have you ever been to Hershey, PA? The whole city smells like chocolate. I was perpetually hungry and aroused the entire time I was there.
Nothing solves the problems of the world like cheap candy.
I give up! Krackel bars get you 10 comments? There's no logic here.
I've only had Krackels in miniature. A full size bar intrigues me.
Nestle's seems to be stale all the time.
Nick also likes Pizza Hut.
They actually have little bits of surrender in them.
Nestle is Swiss.
Really, what's the difference? I stand corrected.
Leno was really, really funny back in the days that he was a guest on Letterman's show. It made it that much more puzzling as to how unfunny he became when he put Johnny Carson's shoes on.
4 out of 5 toothless, boy-hungry pedophiles surveyed prefer Nick.
What can I say, I'm like Brawndo for pedophiles.
I LOVE Krackel. I always steal them out of my grandmothers candy dish and also children's halloween bags.
Nothing makes me happier and wetter then a whatchamacallit bar though.
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