Saturday, April 26, 2008
"Where my chubby chasers at?"
I'm sure most of you are aware of the term "chubby chaser", which references guys who like their women .... ample. Well, I read an article about female chubby chasers, women who prefer fatty-fatty-fat-fat men.

As I read this fascinating expose, I was eating a salad. A fucking salad! I don't like salad unless it's topped with buffalo chicken strips and drenched in blue cheese dressing, but this salad was devoid of delicious goodies. Would a female chubby chaser be the answer to my prayers? Could I go back to my everyday menu of pizza, chicken wings, fried foods, and beer without the one-hundred percent certainty that I'd die alone? Is there a woman out there who would actually try to fatten me up even more? "Happy birthday, dear. I bought you a $1,000 gift certificate to Impellizzeri's and this stylish muumuu.

But then I began to have second thoughts. The article pointed out that there are relatively few female "blubber enthusiasts" and I have a feeling the competition is pretty intense. You'll never hear this conversation between two North American women:

woman1: "You know what I hate about the dating scene in this town?"

woman2: "What?"

woman1: "Not enough overweight guys."

woman2: "Tell me about it. Too many guys in good shape around here."

woman1: "Let's strip down to our bra and panties and tickle one another."

woman2: "Okay."

Sorry, that got away from me there at the end. But you get my point. I guess I'll eat an occasional salad. Fuck.


8 Comments:

I like a little belly on my men. Doubles as a pillow, you know?

Blogger John said...

Dude, if/when you discover the blissful female Land O' Chubby Chasers, hook me up. Seriously. You knew me as a kid... even then I knew you and I would both be carrying extra til our only sammiches would be made of dirt. Hope they have mayo 6 feet under.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

A life without mayo isn't worth living.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

It's a good thing you didn't come to Elder's First Communion party, then.

I didn't exactly offer lo-cal fare.

Stop torturing me with pictures of Impellizzeri's God Damnit! It's not like I can get in my car, drive down the street and get one.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I'll chase your chubby if you chase mine. ;)

Blogger KT said...

i like my boys husky. not into the thin guys who's main interest is working out. ugh. i'm a big girl and i like my man big too. he needs to be able to handle me. lol.

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

So do ya think that the C.C. girlfriend could make a demeaning comment that just made you feel like she only wanted your for your girth?

"Hey honey, looks like you've been working out a bit to much... I'm not saying anything but you might want to spend the weekend on the couch instead of playing football with your friends..."

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