Saturday, June 14, 2008
Hey Ladies...
Women of America, I have a request. No, I'm not asking for a blowjob, although that would be nice for a change. Dear females, can I please be allowed to hate Sex and the City? Really, can I despise that fucking show without being called "misogynistic patriarch" or "taint-for-brains"?

My dislike of Sex and the City has nothing to do with gender. Those women simply possess character traits that I also find off-putting in men; and it would be truly sexist of me to excuse these shallow, vapid cosmo sippers just because they have what I want down there.

While we're at it, I'd also like to get permission from black people to hate Tyler Perry's House of Payne. Have you seen this comedic death sentence? It's on after Family Guy reruns on TBS, so I tried to watch it one night. It was so bad that, had my remote control not worked, I'd have taken my fat ass off the couch and changed the channel myself. That, my friends, is bad television. Yeah, it's nice of Tyler Perry to put his name in front of a show written by dull-witted fifth graders and performed by actors rejected by community theater, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

As long as we're all here, fuck Carlos Mencia. Is that cool, Latinos? I have a feeling you guys don't like him either, but since I asked the women and the blacks I didn't want to leave you out. I saw Carlos Mencia do stand up "comedy" and it looked like open-mic night at a sports bar in Bakersfield. I was once robbed by four knife-wielding thugs and my assailants made me laugh more than he did. He sucks, is what I'm saying.

In closing, I'd also like to ask lesbians if I can despise Rosie O'Donnell, white trash if I can loathe Larry the Cable Guy, hipster douchebags if I can detest the band Vampire Weekend, and frat scrote if I can abhor Dane Cook.


17 Comments:

For once, I'm with you on every point. I hate all of those things you mentioned, save Vampire Weekend. I've never heard of them before.

Blogger jesse said...

You have our permission to hate Mencia. The disturbingly- unfunny it hurts so bad to say it, comedian Carlos Mencia is yes in fact unfunny. This may surprise you, but he is actually what I would consider, a racist. I know someone who's met him and told me he was a total ass. Oh, and he makes money out of not being funny, so I'm probably just envious of him.

Blogger Jo said...

As long as I have your permission to dislike Mudhoney, we're all good.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I think Todd's lost that loving feeling.

Blogger lostinutah said...

You certainly have my permission, though I love the show myself. Just saw the movie last night. To each their own. But, I have to be permitted to hate the Three Stooges.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I've tried watching Sex in the City many times, and I don't like it. To me, if you like those nighttime soaps, it's fine, but I don't like those either. But it's not a comedy. That's what bothers me about it; it's rumored to be "hilarious." But a lot of women I like and respect LOVE the thing, so...

And on the others, preach it, bro.

Blogger John said...

I'd watch it if it was on cable and called Lesbian Sex in the City.

Blogger Lil Sass said...

I have two ovaries and a uterus and hate Sex and the Poon-Tang with all of my being. Since I am genetically a female, I give you the go ahead to get on the hate train with me. I think that piece of trash is against what every good femi female should be about. UUGHHHHH!

Blogger Jeannie said...

I'm not an American but I am a woman and I can't stand Sex & the City either. It's just stupid. I don't think I've seen anything else. But I don't watch TV except shows that people download for me.

Blogger flounder said...

Frat scrote?

You're killing me.

Blogger Nick said...

I heard that. If it walks like a douchebag and talks like a douchebag, it's probably a douchebag.

Blogger Blonde said...

You have my permission to hate SATC. I loved the show but hated the movie myself.

I don'tcare if I hvae approval or not, I hate everything Tyler Perry creates.

I also have a blowjob for you

Blogger Mr. Booze said...

Dear Asian people, may I please hate Fast and the Furious?

Blogger Caroline said...

You might enjoy Fitz's take on the SATC movie. http://3-116thsniper.blogspot.com/2008/06/any-men-seen-sex-in-teh-city-yet.html

Blogger Stephanie said...

Todd,i've been lurking and reading your archives for a while now and just wanted to say hi,you are soooooo hilarious,and i agree about everything you said,even if i am guilty of watching SATC:)
keep up the good work

Blogger LivitLuvit said...

Absolutely hilarious! Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook have both been documented on youtube using other comedians' material after those comedians had performed it. Agree on all other accounts as well... Being a mid-20s swf, I should LURVE Sex and the City, but I really only watch it when my girlfriends put it on. To me, they seem so sad...

Blogger Sylvia said...

I hate Vampire Weekend too.

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