Sunday, May 30, 2010
I did not write the best movie review ever, but I'll get over it in time
The best movie review ever has just been written by Lindy West, who writes for a Seattle alt newspaper called The Stranger. It's a review of Sex and the City 2; and it's the kind of scathing rebuke of something very popular with certain women that could only be written by a woman. If you want to read the entire review (and you really should) go here, but I've pulled a few choice cuts for your convenience.

"SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it's my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car." 

Perfect. Just fucking perfect. But wait, there's more.

"It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls."

Slow clap, '80s teen movie style.

George Carlin once said something to the effect that feminism should be more than just women emulating the very worst behaviors of men, and isn't that what Sex and the City has always been about? Yes, of course you have the right to be shallow and emotionally detached, but do we really have to celebrate that like it's a good thing? We do? Fuck.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to scour the internet to see if an African-American has written a hostile review of Tyler Perry's House of Payne.


Blogger Sara said...

I kind of had some desire to see the movie, but after reading that review? Fuck that shit! I wish my only worry was that my shoes wouldn't match my fucking purse. How about making sure my electric bill is paid so I don't get left in the dark again?

Blogger Ed said...


Sounds like an accurate review of a movie I would never see and wouldn't know otherwise if it was or wasn't but don't care.

Regardless, it was still funny.

Blogger Miss Melissa said...

I want to be best friends with the woman who wrote that review.

Blogger Heather said...

Never watched the series. Didn't see the first movie. Won't see the second. Never the less, LOVE the review.

Blogger onewaybanter said...

told ya, Sex and the Shitty (number 2).

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

That Stranger sounds like an awesome rag.

I and several guy friends went to see Robin Hood a couple of weekends ago. The popcorn bags and drink cups were all blinged out with SATC 2 glitter. I didn't have either, so I laughed at my friends the whole time. They felt a little self-conscious, and I don't blame them. That's the worst product placement since my Crossroads popcorn bag back in '02.

Blogger Übermilf said...

"a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls."

Best description of this piece of crap I've ever seen. Bravo, Lindy.

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