Thursday, May 13, 2010
This Just In: Internet Cock-n-Balls Award to Make Life Worth Living
The good folks over at Ed's Funny Pages just bestowed a major award on yours truly. I won a prestigious (and homoerotically phallic) 2010 Funniest Blogger Award. I appreciate the recognition, even though they spelled "be careful" as one word. I'm guessing the panel of judges loves self-loathing and hates Sarah Palin. That is the only way this blog could have won anything these days.

I would also like to thank Kate, who nominated me for this honor. I used to have a searing lust for Kate, but she had to go and ruin it by getting married. How dare she not enable my pathetic internet fantasies! However, this gesture makes me love her all over again. Kate, if you ever want to leave your happy life in Kansas City for one of abject poverty and misery in Louisville, I'm your guy!

Of course, now I feel obligated to be funny all the time, to not cheapen nor sully the yellow dick trophy given to me by an internet stranger. This could prove to be a huge god damn burden. But thanks anyway!




9 Comments:

Blogger Sara said...

I found you through Ed's Funny Pages. I'm a little jealous that I didn't get a dick trophy. That would have been so special...

Blogger Osbasso said...

I bow to your superior wit and wisdom...

Blogger The Queen said...

I didn't win.. I think I left something at the castle for you too..

Blogger dizzy von damn! said...

i can't believe no one's talking about how you finally have a cock and balls.


I'M SORRY! THE JOKE, IT WAS JUST THERE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO USE IT.

Blogger onewaybanter said...

Finally! You really did deserve this penis statue.

Blogger Heather said...

I can think if no one more deserving... I mean that in the most adoring way, of course!
Congrats!

Congrats bro!

Blogger kate said...

I'm a huge fan of self-loathing and talking shit on Sarah Palin! Congrats on the award - it's totally deserved.

I'm going to start using you to keep my husband in line. "What was that? You don't feel like doing what I asked? Keep that up and I'm running away with a stranger from the internet, goddamnit." Flawless plan, right?

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I can say I knew you when you had nothing...oh wait...

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