Monday, May 10, 2010
More on Palin, like it or not
Even though my last post has received an all-time DWAFM low of ZERO comments (thanks a fucking lot), I'm going to bash Sarah Palin some more, because it makes me feel better.

A couple of smartasses have written a book entitled Going Rouge: Sarah Palin, An American Nightmare. I haven't read it yet, but I'm guessing it takes a massive shit into Sarah's gaping mouth.

I have, however, read the comments/user reviews over at its Google Products page. Pure hilarity. Let's look at some of them, shall we?

First of all, there are those who don't know the difference between the book Going Rogue, written by Sarah Palin's ghostwriter, and the parody Going Rouge.

For example, Virginia Burgess-bronga wrote, "This book by Sarah Palin was informative and inspirational. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and encouraged all my friends to get it which they did and enjoyed it too!"

So apparently Ms. Burgess-bronga, who obviously can't read and is a big liar, not only believes that Sarah Palin wrote a book entitled Sarah Palin, An American Nightmare, but also encouraged her friends who meet at Olive Garden every Thursday for lunch to read it or at least pretend to.

But she's not alone. D. Ingram adds, "I very much appreciated the opportunity to read about the life of Sarah Palin. She is the real deal. She truly believes in God, Country and the American people. At the time of the election we just couldn't see it through the political machine that was created by all the handlers."

First of all, internet person who is REVIEWING THE WRONG BOOK, Sarah Palin only cares about herself. Period. And really? The problem wasn't her ineptitude, but the fact that McCain's people tried to hide the depth of said ineptitude? Well, that's a different, albeit completely retarded, way of looking at it.

Reviewer LadyDi22 has the right review site but picked up the wrong book. She writes, in a princessly fashion of course, "The cover is eerily similar to her's. I had to make another trip to Walmart to return it."

While you were at Wal-Mart you should have also returned the unnecessary apostrophe you added to the word "hers", you fucking moron.

There are more like that, but let's turn our attention to Sarah's Tea Party followers, the shit-for-brains fuck-for-alls who make modern life damn near unbearable.

Marketing genius Richard Matson titles his review "Ripoff Book!" and states, "Knowing they wouldn't sell a single copy using any other title! They cower to the gutter mentality of ripoff artists using rewording of Sarah Palin's all time record for non-fiction pre-release book!"

So their strategy was to fool stupid Palin supporters into thinking they were buying her book? If I, as a Democrat, buy a book entitled Obama: Socialist or Anti-Christ? and think to myself, "Wow, I have just purchased a fair-minded glimpse into the life of our president," I am a fucking tool and deserve to be force-fed a dissenting opinion.

Take Brett Goodlin, for example. He kept simpleton drool off his laptop long enough to type, "This book was printed with the sole intention of being deceptive and it worked. I was meaning to buy this book as a gift and I saw Going Rouge and Sarah Palin. I obviously didn't look too close, but shame shame shame on the publishers for ruining one of my Christmas gifts!"

You sure didn't look too close, Brett, because "Rouge" and "Rogue" are two fucking different words. Close, yes...but they have vastly different meanings. Oh, the intricate maze that is the English language, your god damn native tongue!!! And, I'll repeat yet again, the word "NIGHTMARE" is on the cover. Too bad about Christmas, but you tried to get through life by simply recognizing colors and shapes, Brett...and your Aunt Hildie paid the price!

A lot of reviewers, way too many to name here, warn the unsuspecting public that "This ain't Sarah's book! It's a fake!" Oh, if only PrincessDi22 had heeded those warnings. It would have saved her a trip to Wal-Mart! And they all write it like they've discovered a vast left wing conspiracy. They're so fucking PROUD of themselves for figuring out that Sarah Palin: An American Nightmare ISN'T GOING TO FLATTER SARAH PALIN! "It's got two different titles. By god, these might be two separate books!" Yes, Agatha Cunting Christie, Sarah Palin didn't call herself a nightmare in the title of her book. Nice find.

Then you have the people who've never read the book (or any book, ever) but "review" it by espousing their stone age political beliefs.

Bouldergirl283 exposes her paranoia by asking, "Where is the book questioning Obama's true experience or agenda?" I don't understand the question. Is she suggesting that Sarah Palin: An American Nightmare should question Obama's agenda? Now that would be a deceptively titled book! Or is she implying that there are no anti-Obama books on the market? If Bouldergirl would stop loitering by the literature shelf at Big Lots and enter an actual bookstore, she would see more anti-Obama books than she could pretend to read in a lifetime (a lifetime that will undoubtedly be cut short by a crippling Meth addiction).

Someone named Ultra Magnus suggests "How about the left wing comes out with a book called 'Al Gore: American hypocrite'" (at least I think that's a suggestion). They should totally do that. A group of left wing authors, all of whom support Al Gore, should go ahead and write a book calling him a hypocrite. And they shouldn't capitalize "hypocrite" in the title. That would really frustrate a dull ol' policy wonk like Gore. "Tipper, some people wrote an unflattering book about me. They're entitled to their opinions and all, but why did they have to title it like a fucking dickhead?"

There are a lot of books that attack Obama, the Clintons, etc. I'll never read a word of any of them, but it doesn't bother me that they exist. These people are public figures (and millionaires) and unflattering press is part of what they signed up for. The people who are so upset that poor helpless Sarah was attacked need to put down the National Enquirer and relax.


Blogger beatgrl said...

Thumbs up, especially any skewering of people who add bonus apostrophes.

Sarah Palin wrote a book?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are 21 other people ahead of Lady Di 22? I'll bet they all shop at Wal-Mart, too.

Blogger Sara said...

I'm pretty sure when God invented the internet, he knew how much fun it would be to make fun of strangers on stupid websites. Win!

Ha ha ha - and the best part? All those Palin-lovers that accidently bought 'Going Rouge' now have fat TRAITOR files full of all of their personal information in the lower cave storage facilities of the Conservadouche Headquarters.

Stupid twats.

Blogger Laura said...

I love you.

Blogger foundinidaho said...

Ahem, I commented on your last post. That is all.

Blogger Sarah P said...

When bloggers bitch about Sarah P, I like to give them mini heart attacks by leaving comments for them.

Sarah P is a cunt bag, but I'd bang her six ways to Sunday.

If I had a penis, I mean. Which I don't.

I mean, I have access to one, and probably more than one if I really wanted, but I only want the one really, because I'm too lazy to keep up with multiple pricks. Plus, the owner of the one would probably remove the penis of another owner if I were to be using that penis, as well.

I'm a one-dick pony, is what I mean.

Blogger dandi mae said...

Dr. Monkey: Yes, didn't you hear? It's called 'Going Rouge.' Ha ha!

I love this blog! I've been reading it for a while now, but haven't ever posted a comment. Thanks for making me laugh.

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