Same as it ever was...

The primary elections were held in Kentucky Tuesday, and there were some interesting results. Ok, that's a lie: None of the results were interesting at all.

For Louisville mayor, I supported local businessman Tyler Allen in the Democratic primary. Allen ran a clean, honorable campaign in which he proposed new ideas instead of the same tired "solutions" that never work. Needless to say, he was absolutely crushed by his competition.

I voted for Tyler Allen mainly because he opposes the ridiculous Ohio River Bridge Project, which, if ever completed, would make Louisville's downtown look like this, at a cost of 4.1 BILLION dollars and counting. Yes, that's a highway hovering over Louisville's nice, unassuming minor league baseball stadium.

Of course, I'm really not all that concerned because of this city's history of complete failure when it comes to updating our infrastructure. If that concrete monstrosity is ever actually built, no one reading this will still be alive to drive on it. It'll take that long.

The guy who won the Democratic mayoral primary has never uttered one sentence of substance. Seriously, he brags about it on his website. I'd actually vote for a Republican for mayor if he was simply a fiscal conservative, but that's never the way it works around here. The local Republican candidate is almost always some snake handler who speaks in tongues and is scared of the gays. I admittedly know nothing about the Republican running this year, but I'm sure he'll eventually make me ashamed to be a member of the human race.

Speaking of which...crazy teabagger Rand Paul, who believes all of our government services should be paid for by magical fairies or something, won the Republican congressional primary. Several of his nutty tea party supporters were arrested yesterday for voter intimidation, so he has that going for him, which is nice. When the state's semi-literate hillbillies send this clown to Washington this Fall, I'll die a little bit more inside.