Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Traveling Dumbass Show
Last week I was flying to Las Vegas when I was lucky enough to observe maybe the dumbest human being on Earth. 

What did he do that was so stupid? He argued with airport security. Yeah...

I was at Louisville International Airport (which, in fact, has no non-stop flights to any location outside of the continental United States), when a female security officer asked a middle-aged man to step back and wait until his carry-on bag cleared the x-ray machine before he stepped through the metal detector. 

This seemed a reasonable request to most of us, but the man protested. He didn't think he should have to push his own luggage through. I guess he thought the airport had some sort of luggage lackey to handle such trivial matters. 

Either way, what difference does it make? Just do what they say and get through the line as quickly as possible. For the love of shit, just do it.

"I've never had to do that before," he stated with the authority of the kind of fucking know-it-all douchebag that everyone wants to bludgeon to death.

"Sir, it's standard procedure," the security guard stated. 

And it went on. He kept insisting that in all of his past airport experiences his carry-on bag just magically made its way through the x-ray machine without his assistance. Some people just love to argue.

He lost the argument.

The last I saw of this argumentative gentleman, a couple of burly Homeland Security officials were giving him an elbow-deep cavity search.


Blogger Miss Pants said...

Ah, karmic airport smackdown!

What a douche. I say give him the cavity search, then shovel justice.

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