Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Separation of Church and Blog
I started going back to church again.

Yeah, I know you're all shocked. "Hey, aren't you the guy with the filthy blog? Wasn't it just last week that you suggested that Lindsay Lohan have her vagina sewn shut?"

Yes, and I still believe that. I'm a foul-mouthed drinker of beer and bourbon who attends church, sometimes with a hangover. If you think that makes me a hypocrite, you're missing the point. 

And don't worry, I don't plan on trying to convert any readers. Why not? Well, because it's fucking obnoxious, that's why (There I am, cursing again).

And mainly because I have my own doubts. Was Jesus the son of God put here on Earth to redeem us? I don't know. Are the words of Jesus (or if you prefer, words attributed to Jesus) a good if perhaps unattainable blueprint for how to live your life? I say yes. Kurt Vonnegut, self-described "Christ-worshipping Agnostic", once said "I am enchanted by the Sermon on the Mount. Being merciful, it seems to me, is the only good idea we have received so far. Perhaps we will get another idea that good by and by - and then we will have two good ideas." 

Vonnegut, of course, also had a healthy distaste for showy institutional religion. I couldn't see myself attending one of those large, Six Flags Over Jesus megachurches. Their doctrine is too conservative and they themselves are too impersonal for my tastes. 

Regardless of size of congregation, there are two other kinds of churches that just aren't for me:

-The church that only talks about all of the various behaviors and attributes that will land you in Hell. This is the "Angry God" church. The outside world is angry enough, thank you.

-The church that says "Be as overly aggressive and self-serving as you like, as long as you come here on Sunday (Implied if not said: "And give us a lot of your money"). These churches exist so greedy people can sleep at night. Hey, we're all greedy to some extent, but I prefer my greed mixed with a little remorseful insomnia.

Faith, or lack thereof, is a very personal thing. For the most part this blog will continue to be profane and profoundly stupid. More filth is on the way!


Blogger Heather said...

It seems as though the "Angry God" and the "Hypocrite" churches are all there are 'round here...

I think it's awesome that you are going back to church. I wish I could say the same.
In my heart though, I do believe that it's not the church you attend but what you do with your life that defines your spiritual health.

Blogger Sara said...

I figure once I have kids, I'll *have* to go to church. You know, to save them from the fiery depths of hell and stuff like that.

For now, I'll just worship Baby Jesus from my house.

Blogger kate said...

I haven't been to church voluntarily outside of a wedding or funeral in a LONG time...the last time I went was with a boyfriend and his family (church was their idea of super-fun-family-bonding-time) and it was one of those 'super hip' churches where everyone shows up in jeans and listens to a rock band sing about how awesome it is to love Jesus.

No, thank you. If you're going to make me go to church, it had better be a real one...I'm talking stuffy, dressed up, uncomfortable pews, taking communion church...not 'buy our super-cool 'Jesus ROCKS!' coffee mugs to show how much you love church' churches.

Blogger yournamehere said...

The church I go to is casual, but certainly not self-consciously hip. Most of us wear shorts in the summer, because even though there's air conditioning it's still an old building and gets hot. I had to dress up at the church I went to as a child, and I don't want to do it anymore.

Blogger Ed said...

Better to let your freak out here than in the sanctuary on Sunday morning.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Six-flags over Jesus Megachurches" made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that. If going to church makes you happy, cool. If not going to church makes you happy, also cool. I'm just always happiest when people are not trying to force to see religion thier way and\or telling me how horribly I will die if I don't listen to them. Thank you for the laugh.

Blogger Holly's Boyfriend said...

...the bigger your flag, the better your jesus - that's how I've always understood it.
Either that, or bigger flags mean better savings on ford trucks. I get the two mixed up sometimes.

Blogger SkitzoLeezra said...

For a decade or so, every Sunday morning, I worshiped at my very own Holy Saint Mattress until I found myself wanting to connect with my faith and others in a church setting.
Because of my "sabbatical" from organized religion, I respect that we all need to find our own way in our own time. (You won't find me knocking on doors early Saturday morning and woe unto those who wake me before 10 AM.)
Good for you, Death.
Even snarky bloggers like us can be a sunbeam.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

When Jesus was here last time, He seemed maddest at the people who were the most sure they knew everything about God. So I think you're on the right track by thinking instead of just accepting.

Blogger Michael said...

I studied to be a minister for 2.5 yrs but in the end parted ways for the reasons you state. Can't get past the historicty of Jesus though. Very different than the church at large. I read your blog religiously, no pun intended. For the bite of reality which I find in common with the word.I would love to know what "you brood of vipers" translates to in current lingo. Its most likely you cocksucking motherfuckers.

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