10. You've been mocked on the website Hot Chicks with Douchebags, and you aren't a hot chick.
9. The place you buy your clothes has a DJ.
8. You have an Ed Hardy tattoo of a guy getting an Ed Hardy tattoo.
7. Your tan is so orange you get a cease and desist letter from lawyers representing Home Depot.
6. You've been on the cover of Popped Collar Magazine: A Magazine For Guys Who Pop Their Collars.
5. You've done coke with Lindsay Lohan.
4. The place you buy your clothes has a VIP area with bottle service.
3. Whenever Red Lobster has their "Douchebag Month" promotion, in which all douchebags get 15 percent off any entree, they send you an email.
2. You've taken out an insurance policy on your abs.
1. Your minister says to you, "Jesus loves you, but I think you're a douchebag."