Thursday, August 19, 2010
Just about every day I get some kind of email asking me to boycott something, or see a facebook post advocating a boycott. Some of the time I support this action, some of the time I don't. And to be honest, it doesn't really have to do with any political agenda. It has everything to do with how I feel about the targeted company in the first place.

For example, I've been asked via email to stop shopping at Target department stores. Folks, that's not gonna happen. Apparently, Target gave a large campaign contribution to some right wing moron. But in their defense, they have Season Two of Mad Men for only $19.99. 

I'm pretty liberal, but Target could buy Sarah Palin a diamond-studded dildo and they wouldn't lose my business. However, Wal-Mart? Fuck them, give me a reason to not shop there! What, a store manager in Tupelo doesn't like Gypsies? I'll never set foot in one of those dumps ever again. 

Is there a reason to not eat at Olive Garden? People give me dirty looks when I say I hate their food, like "Oh, la-de-fuckin'-da, King Cuisine won't eat at Olive Garden," but it would be a different story were I to boycott them for employing slave labor or contributing to the rise of Pol Pot's grandson in Cambodia.

I wonder how epic an atrocity it would take for me to boycott Chick Fil A. Weakened the levees in New Orleans circa 2005? Maybe. Were directly responsible for 9/11? Perhaps. "Yeah, they really fucked up, but have you had this sandwich?" I'd say between bites.

Want more examples? Ok:

White Castle? Heard they gave smallpox blankets to earthquake victims. I'll give 'em one more chance.

Subway? Read somewhere that they don't hire enough midgets, so the entire chain is dead to me. 

In-n-Out Burger? Really, they're sponsoring Dane Cook's fall tour? I vow to only eat there once a year, unless they open a store in Louisville or I move out West; in which case all bets are off.

I guess the point of this post is that I'm a horrible human being. 


Blogger kate said...

I'm with you on Chick-fil-A. They could probably drown puppies right in front of me, but as long as they kept giving me waffle fries, I think I'd be okay with it.

Agreed bro. I haven't stepped foot into a Wal Mart since 1999. It was 2 am, and I needed some water. At checkout, I had a 500lb mustachioed woman in front of me with her husband (who was covered in greae from head to toe) and her two hyper active kids, ages 6 & 9. One of the kids dropped a can of Coke and it exploded all over the place. The husband, who clearly prays every night for a comet to hit the earth and bring him sweet relief, turned around and speaking to me with only his eyes, begged me to bash his skull in with a tire iron. I vowed that day to never set foot in Wal Mart again, and I never will.

Blogger Lsamsa said...'s definitely about priorities.
I'm so with you about Olive Garden...went there once...blech, unlimited bread does not equal a great food experience!
Hah...they moved out of Ontario (the Canadian province I live in) years ago...not enough interest seemingly...can't imagine why!

Blogger jaf said...

You really need a(nother) reason to be expressed to you to boycott Walmart? Don't know where you get your info, but it seems to be: FAIL!

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