Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Then...and now
I would like to take the time to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the lovely and talented Brooke. I believe she's turning twenty-five today, so be sure to stop by her blog and congratulate her on a full quarter-century of kicking ass.

My birthday is on September 24th, so I've been thinking about my life way back when I was twenty-five; how my expectations have changed and how I have changed.

25: Wanted to write the great American novel.
Now: Want to write a blog entry that doesn't read like the random keypad punches of a fever-crazed monkey.

25: Was looking for a woman to marry and have children with.
Now: Looking for a woman who won't make urination painful.

25: Trying to decide what to do with my life; I'm not getting any younger.
Now: Seriously considering working for gypsies who kidnap and sell babies.

25: I would only drink microbrewed beer and single-barrel bourbon.
Now: If I want a kickin' buzz I draw a Sharpie moustache under my nose and inhale deeply.

25: Shopped for my clothes in the Polo Big and Tall section.
Now: I have a needle, some thread, and a gift card from Las Vegas Tent and Awning.

25: Favorite new band: Nirvana
Now: Those damn kids and their rock and roll.

25: Played basketball with friends.
Now: See if I can walk across a parking lot without stopping to cough up blood.

25: Went out with a girl introduced to me by my friend Dave Zoeller.
Now: "Dating" a girl introduced to me by my "friend" Hugh Hefner.

25: Could go four or five times a night.
Now: Still four or five times, if we're talking about peeing.

25: Disgusted by actions of an idiot president named George Bush.
Now: Disgusted by inaction of an idiot president named George Bush.

25: Needed to lose some weight.
Now: Some things never change.


21 Comments:

Blogger MollyNormal said...

Is there any money in kidnapping babies for gypsies? If so, let me know. A career change may be in order.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Thank you for my birthday wishes. And thank you for once again making soda come out of my nose. You rock, Todd!


Mollynormal's eye is totally freaking me out.

Blogger Blonde said...

I have a birthday present for you in my pants...you have to come and get it ;).

Are you meeting up with Livia Slampig while she is in Vegas this week? I will be really jealous of her then!

Blogger Egan said...

Todd, I thought Brooke was turning 24.. that's what Viggo told me.

Molly's eye looks like a gobstopper. Hey, if we are lucky Jeb Bush will be president eight or nine years from now after managing 30 category 4 hurricanes as Florida's governor. Or was that Mr. FEMA, Mike Brown?

Is Nirvana still around?

Blogger spoonfed said...

c-r-a-z-y. september 24th is also my birthday...libras rule...we'll at least the two of us do anyway...i'll drink to lowered expectations any day...but birthdays are especially great to celebrate how enthusiastic you used to be....hahaha...

Blogger katarina said...

I'm on the bandwagon with the gypsy thing. As long as I can keep a baby for myself.

And at least you don't have to drive around in those motorized scooters. That's skinny in this country.

I have sharpie parties all the time. You should see the pictures!
You can hardly recognize my friends.

Blogger Norton said...

Hey, I'm feeling old with ya!

Blogger Lauren said...

A very creative look at things. I think you should still go for the Great American Novel though.

Can we see a pic of the Sharpie mustache??

Blogger Crystal said...

Definitely go for the Great American Novel thing, I'd buy your book and I know it wouldn't be boring! As for the extra poundage, at least you're tall and can carry the weight. I've always felt cheated because I'm only 5'2, which means I look fat weighing only 130lbs! I really need to stay away from those Hostess Ding Dongs, I joined Bally's Gym over the Labor Day weekend in an effort to loose about 15lbs.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

oh to be young again.....

yeah, I always thought I would be married by 30 (what the hell was I thinking?)

hey, we like those fevor-crazed monkeys, they keep us very amused (and watch out that Ago-go doesn't steal one of 'em)

Blogger Rachel said...

Todd, what do you want for your birthday?

Blogger God said...

Clean birthday wishes Todd. I can read your mind, don't you forget it. Those wild lesbian parties are a thing of the past.

Blogger yournamehere said...

mollyn.,
The money's okay but the benefits suck and no weekends off.

brooke,
I'm glad I could cause you momentary nostril pain.

blonde,
I want to open my present early this year. I'm going to try to get together with Livi.

egan,
My worst fear is that there will be a reality show to replace Kurt Cobain. He's dead, Egan, in case you didn't know.

spoonfed,
We do rule. We should get matching Libra scales of justice tats.

kat,
yeah, someone always ruins the sharpie parties by drawing a "Hitler" under their nose.

Blogger yournamehere said...

norton,
We should catch the blue plate special at the cafeteria.

lauren,
You're right. It's not like I spend all my free time deciding which of my women to go out with.

andi,
the sharpie buzz renders me unable to operate a camera.

crystal,
I don't know...you look good in your profile pic.

steph,
the monkeys are starting to smell and I believe their fleas have given my roommate the bubonic plague. Oh, and I know this is off the subject but you're hot.

rachel,
what do I want for my b-day? Your best wishes and a promise you'll come down to Vegas as soon as possible. Oh, and Sin City on DVD. And a steak dinner. And an I-Pod. And a laptop. Seriously, just email me birthday greetings and I will be happy. Really.

god,
No lesbians? Why hast thou forsaken me?

Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Good for you - I can't even remember 25.

Blogger yournamehere said...

steve,
Can't remember 25? Then good for you.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Your name is Todd?

Funny how I named the cute guy in my last FFF Todd. But I named him after a dorky guy in my high school; he was too tall and skinny and had no chin.

I thought he deserved a chance to be a stud in high school.

Your name is Todd?

Blogger yournamehere said...

ubermilf,
You hate my name? It's not the most popular. George Carlin made fun of it on a 2001 HBO Special. I was watching it and the phone rang. It was my mom and she said, "Ha, are you watching George Carlin? He made fun of 'Todd'." And I said, "Laugh it up, crazy woman. You named me."

I'm too tall, but definitely not skinny. Wow, hating on my name on MY blog. Ubie, if I didn't find you so witty and intelligent I'd be somewhat slightly upset.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Todd you are too hard on yourself.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I don't hate the name Todd!

Well, okay, maybe a little.

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