Thursday, November 10, 2005
I Lost a Friend, But I Gained A Not Very Interesting Story
Early last February, the Saturday before the Super Bowl to be exact, I received a call from my then-friend Meagan. She had the hook-up at House of Blues Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay and invited me to go that night with her and a few friends. Little did I know when I accepted the invitation it would lead to the end of our friendship.

When I got to Meagan's house she was already half lit. She met me at the door with a shot. I did it, some sort of nasty shit, and gave her a hug. She slurred that she was celebrating no longer being with her boyfriend and had already done several shots with her roommate, who had just left to work a bartending shift.

Then she asked me to go to the store and get her a pack of cigarettes, which I did because I'm a sucker. I picked up her pack of rolled emphysema, some gum, a 2-liter of Coke for a mixer, and a few other items. The lady in front of me was kind of attractive and was probably really good looking ten or so years ago before the drugs and hard living left their marks. She was talking about being a millionaire and losing all her money; she was Vegas personified. Then she bought my groceries, just like that. I think when I spoke I reminded her of one of the voices in her head.

When I got back to Meagan's house I began drinking heavily, relying on her insistence that one of her co-workers would drive us to the Strip. I did a few shots with Meagan and then drank a vanilla vodka and Coke in a glass so large the drink actually had a tide. One of her co-workers came by and also started drinking like Courtney Love at an open bar, so it was decided that Susan (I don't remember her real name) would drive since she no longer indulged.

About an hour later, after I've drunkenly professed my love to Meagan and she's shown me her beautiful tits, Susan's boyfriend drops her off. Yeah, it seems Susan had lost her license about a year prior for driving drunk. That was the last night she ever had alcohol.

I don't know how we did it, but our sloshed asses talked Susan into driving us to the Strip, sans license, on one of the busiest Saturday nights of the year. We piled into Meagan's Nissan and took off. We got on the expressway and as soon as the speedometer read fifty the car started shaking violently. Susan freaked the fuck out. Here's the conversation:

Susan: "Holy fuck! MEAGAN, WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOUR FUCKING CAR?"

Meagan (stump drunk): "There's nothing wrong with my car. Quit moving the steering wheel so much."

Me (also quite drunk, but able to reason): "She's 'moving the steering wheel' to keep the car on the road."

Meagan: "She's nervous. It's making the car shake."

Me: "God damn it, Michael J. Fox with icecubes down his pants couldn't make the car shake like this."

So Susan gets off the freeway and we take the surface streets to Mandalay Bay. As long as the car stays under fifty mph, it's okay. We pass about a million cop cars on the way, and every time we do, Susan hyperventilates. We make it there, somehow.

The lobby outside of the Foundation Room was packed, but we just walked right in to the place. I love walking through a crowd of people younger, richer, and better looking than me and getting in while they have to wait.

To make a long story short, and because I'm tired and want to get some sleep, the night had its highs and lows. I had many more drinks, all courtesy of a bartender friend of Meagan's; Meagan and I made out near the bar; she said despite that she only wanted to be friends; I said in that case I didn't want to see her again; and when I sobered up and realized I still valued our friendship, it was too late. She never returned my phone calls and after awhile I stopped calling. I haven't seen her since that night.

The moral of the story is: Never say "I never want to see you again" unless you really mean it.


29 Comments:

agreed...the "I never want to see you again" line has bitten me in the ass too.

Blogger IndependentGrl said...

I tend to be the queen of "I don't want to talk anymore" (and of course don't mean it 98% of the time)

Blogger katarina said...

It wouldn't have been the same again anyway. It's hard to be just friends after a good make-out session. I think it saved you from many other pains.
Saying that to people has been some of the best decisions I've made in my life. I'm better off. So are you.

Blogger The real me said...

Call her.

Blogger MollyNormal said...

"Michael J. Fox with icecubes down his pants couldn't make the car shake like this." That's just wrong!!

Do you miss her? If so, give her a call. If not, forget the bitch.

Blogger Sindy said...

Ugh.. I hate regrets.. Ive been guilty of using the same phrase. Its kinda tough to maintain the same friendship when you've seen her titties and made out with her.
;o)

Blogger Übermilf said...

I never want to see you again!

I don't mean that. I love you! Come back!

So, what was wrong with the car? Now we'll never know!

Blogger Princess Steph said...

well that's hard lesson to learn my friend. it sucks actually. call her you freak, if for nothing else for that bartender hookup (kidding) (sort of)

Blogger Kris said...

Time to Google this chick.

I'm still reeling from your last post, by the way. But I'm pretty sure you knew that . . . ;)

Blogger Jo said...

Meagan is evil and mean. And has a funny name. Fuck 'er.

Damn, I'm cranky today.

Blogger Gwen said...

Two weeks ago, during an argument, a male friend of mine (who I used to date) told me, "Okay, fine, let's not be friends anymore, then, because you're really annoying me."

Okay, fine.

Every time I see him in the hall now, he simpers "Hi, Gwen," with a sad-ass little smile. And I ignore him.

You don't say that kind of stuff to a woman and expect her not to hold a vicious, long-standing grudge.

Blogger Lulu said...

I would haold a grudge too, but if you really kissed my ass I would probably forgive you.

lol, nerves making the car shake. That sounds like something drunk Shannon would say :)

Blogger WunEyedDog said...

I have a problem with shooting my mouth off a little too quickly sometimes. Luckily my wife still loves me, cause Goddamn I've said some dumb stuff.

Like some of the people above, I'm of the inclination that if you really want to be friends, I'd call her. I've done a couple of long-time after the fact "I'm sorry I'm a jackass" calls. Whether or not you end up friends again, it gets a little bit of guilt off your chest.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Now I'm depressed. Not as depressed as you of course.

Blogger yournamehere said...

shaken,
I'll never again be so cavalier about saying it.

indie,
for me, emotions and alcohol did not mix well.

kat,
it was a brief make-out. I think we could have salvaged the friendship. Maybe it did save me some heartache, but all I know is I was nauseous for a month afterwards.

real,
I called her and she would never return my calls. She doesn't want to know I exist.

molly,
I still miss her, but she has my number and chooses not to call.

Blogger yournamehere said...

cindy,
yeah, it might have been tough. We always flirted, but nothing to that extent.

ubie,
I'm glad you're concerned about the car.

steph,
I don't think I'll call her. I only think she hates me; if she confirms it, it will probably be more than I can fucking deal with.

kris,
I warned you not to read my last post, didn't I?

jo,
she has a mean streak, but used to be very kind to me.

Blogger yournamehere said...

gwen,
thanks for confirming what I already suspected. I'm dead to her.

lulu,
if only she were more like you.

shaken,
what if that girl really was that nervous? Ha.

wuneyed,
she won't answer if she sees it's my number. I stopped calling because I didn't want to seem like a stalker. I also never showed up at her house. I'd rather have her hate me than fear me.

brooke,
my suffering is legendary even in Hell.

Blogger Bobby said...

I say that a lot, but I always mean it. but good advice.

Blogger Crystal said...

What a sad story! I wish you still had the "email post to friend" option because then I'd send this to my lost german friend. I pulled the same "do what I say or the friendship is over" thingy too, much to my chagrin, and now he won't ever talk to me again.

Blogger Evil Petting Zoo said...

Yeah that's sorta a bad thing to say if you wante to see someone again. It sends a mixed message. Is it such a bad thing that she's gone? ....cue Hall and Oates.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Here is some unwarranted advice from my sorry ass pants....

I don't think this tater flashing chick is worth your time. I have some experience in this area (friends, not tater flashing). Over the past few years I've done what I call cleaning out my closet of friends. While it is sad to lose a friend, I have learned that some of them were not true friends to begin with. You are a smart and funny guy and you deserve to be around people that treat you as such. Making out with someone and then pulling the friend card is a dick move. You deserve less dick, Viva. Chin up!

Blogger yournamehere said...

bobby,
it's good to be a person who says what he means.

crystal,
I'll try to turn the email option back on, but I'm not sure how.

evil,
it definitely sent a mixed message.

pants,
you rule and are too nice to me. I do deserve less dick. But telling someone when you're drunk "I never want to speak to you again" is a dick move as well.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Yeah, maybe. I just don't think you should beat yourself up over it.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I agree with pants! I guess that's why I was more concerned about the car than the girl. I don't like her, instinctively. Friends don't flash taters at friends.

Do you like cookies? Cookies travel better than cupcakes.

Blogger yournamehere said...

pants,
beating myself up is what I do.

ubie,
yes, I love cookies. Umm, cookies.

"But telling someone when you're drunk "I never want to speak to you again" is a dick move as well."

*plugging ears*...lalalalala

nonsense, it means you're a smart drunk with respect. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself ever since I did it.

Blogger katarina said...

Anyone knows you can't believe things that come out of the mouths of drunk people. I think she acted too quick. I don't think it was "dick" of you at all. I think it was "drunk" of you. I think it was "dick' of her to take you seriously. If you ask me, which you're not, she used it as an excuse not to be friends. She was probably so embarrassed by her actions that night that she couldn't bare to look at you again. It would be different if you had a life long relationship with nothing but problems and decided it wasn't worth it anymore. You didn't.
She took it as an easy out.

Blogger Kath said...

You deserve better, Todd. Much better.

Never settle.

Ever.

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