Thursday, December 08, 2005
Smells Like Baby Jesus
The world needs a new Christmas song. I give you this one, sung to the tune of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Come, three wise men and bring your gifts
Of gold and myrrh and frakinscence;
A child is born in Bethlehem,
There was no room in the inn.

Halo Halo Halo Halo
Halo Halo Halo Halo
Halo Halo
Yeah he's living in a manger
There he is now, he's our savior
And they're making an excursion
'Cause his mother, she's a virgin

Destined to become a holiday classic.





28 Comments:

Blogger Egan said...

This is perfect Todd. Now I can't shake the Nirvana video. I wonder how your Christmas song would play out as a video. Start out all slow in the manger and then it would end with straw everywhere. Yah yeah..yeah...I like it.

Blogger WunEyedDog said...

The title made me think this would be a Weight Watchers related post. This was even better.

PS - Way to go on the diet, it sucks, but you're doing great, keep it up.

Blogger katarina said...

Talent just ooozes from you, doesn't it?
You can do anything.
I worship you.

Blogger MollyNormal said...

ROFLMAO!!! This is awesome! Oh I love it I love it I love it.

And I love you, Toddles. Call me this weekend for hot phone sex.

Blogger WhiteBoyBob said...

There was a TV programme over here called The Day Today and they did a send up of MTV called ROK TV. On it they said Nirvana were doing the music for a fake brand of feminine hygine products called Panty Smiles. Anyway they did the jingo for the advert to Smells Like Teen Spirit music as follows:-

Once a month, you become a slave
To a tidal wave
Body's little clock
Could mess up your frock
But Panty Smile's a lovely thing
It absorbs everything

CHORUS:
You can wear them in the high street
Body contoured, Very discreet
And the comfort
You won't believe
'Cause the topsheet is a dryweave

It was absolute genius.

Blogger Rachel said...

LMAO, you rock, you know that right?

I love you, you know that right?

;)

I think you've hit on something big and bankable. That's even better than my favorite Christmas classic: "Walkin' 'Round in Women's Underwear."

Blogger Melanie was here said...

I believe that is my new favorite Christmas song ever. That rocks!

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

Howdy! It's been a while I know. But seriously, maybe we should examine the whole thing with letting children sit on the lap of an old man and telling them whether they've been "naughty" and then revealing their deepest desires to the guy. It's kinda creepy. Sorta like "Here Cums Santa Claus" ... (shudder)

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I thought we were going to eat baby jesus.

Congrats on your fifteen, that's awesome!

Blogger Egan said...

Pants, are you referring to the marzipan Jesus?

Blogger MsHellion said...

Baby Jesus must have smelled like feed corn and cow poo. Just my observation.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

you are such a weirdo. :)

*kisses*

Blogger FRITZ said...

One time, when Kurt and Courtney were high, they pretended they were Joseph and Mary, and David Grohl was Jesus.

And then, after that, Courtney told Kurt that she slept with all of his friends plus used up all the drugs in Grohl's underpants while Kurt was writing this song. And then he shot himself.

I love the holidays.

Blogger Jo said...

I'm starting to think that you could make a pretty sizeable harem if you wanted to. We're ALL in love with you :-)

Blogger Brookelina said...

Holy crap, was that cincy?

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I want to sit in the corner with a bucket on my head and hope nobody notices me.

Blogger yournamehere said...

egan,
and in the video, Mary would be hot, in a kind of early nineties skate-betty sorta way.

wun,
"Smells Like Baby Jesus" made you think it was about WW? Okay.

kat,
My oozing talent and I had to be at my monkey job at 6am this morning.

mollyn,
I'll take phone sex. Definitely.

bob,
that is hilarious.

rachel,
I'm not so sure I rock, but I certainly hope you love me.

Blogger yournamehere said...

andi,
we could make a shitload of cash. We'd be like Weird Al, only funny.

melanie,
my goal is to change the way America thinks about Christmas songs.

cincy,
I had FBI looking for your corpse, god damn it! Welcome back.

pants,
baby Jesus always gives me gas. And thanks for the encouragement.

egan,
ummmm, marzipan.

mshellion,
your observations are always welcome.

Blogger yournamehere said...

princess,
kiss me and you can call me anything you want.

fritz,
I love that story.

jo,
my imaginary internet harem ain't keepin' me warm at night. I do appreciate everyone, though.

brooke,
I believe so. Like Jesus, he is back from the dead.

ubie,
nobody puts ubermilf in the corner!

Sorry, that was too easy. No way you would go unnoticed, not if anyone with a fucking brain cell was at the party.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

I'm le tired

good song, destined to be a holiday classic.

Blogger diadima said...

too much

Blogger Housekeeper said...

I'm going to see if I can get the choir at church to sing it.

Blogger The real me said...

OH OH - do another one...

Blogger yournamehere said...

knitty,
I can almost hear Tony Danza singing it.

diadima,
way too much.

housekeeper,
record it and send me a copy.

real,
I'll try sometime before Christmas.

Blogger wmy said...

yep, that is gonna be one of the greats!!! lol

Blogger Dan-E said...

no joke, i actually picked up my guitar and and sang along to your lyrics to see if it would work. it fucking ROCKS. i'm gonna need to you come up with the second and third verses so i have something play for my niece this Christmas.

Blogger tango jellybean said...

jesus titty-fuckin christ!! I encountered both your song AND the words "skate-betty" in one post. Holy mother of god.

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