Thursday, February 02, 2006
My "Sex Partner" Requirements
Yesterday I listed my eight requirements for a loving life partner. For the sake of equal time to purient interests, I'd like to list my requirements for a consenting adult to have sex with me.

1. Pussy (original issue)

2. Pulse

That is all. Thank you for your time.


36 Comments:

Blogger Egan said...

So I guess this means you and I will never become intimate. I am so distraught. Two very simple requirements though.

Blogger Karen said...

You almost make it sound as though you're easy to please! LOL

VV

Blogger tlsd said...

... oh come on you're not that easy are you?
And I thought I was special...
:0(

Blogger The real me said...

Oh Todd, how I've missed you!

Blogger katarina said...

Now those requirements I meet.

Blogger AWE said...

You are high maintenance.

Blogger afromabq said...

You're so bad! :)

Too bad Terri Schiavo isn't around. She even met those requirements.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Unfortunately, my cat ALSO meets those requirements.

Blogger Trix said...

Add to that list a love of the BJ, and I'm pretty sure I'm just your type!

Blogger afromabq said...

also, i linked you...hope you don't mind :).

Blogger normiekins said...

selective are we?....

Blogger miss kendra said...

see, i was right.

Blogger Tumbleweed said...

You're too easy! I like a man that is a least a bit of a challenge. Damn you!

Blogger Egan said...

Andi - you get the inappropriate comment of the day. I love it though. That Schiavo shit is golden.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

not only did i meet all of your last postings requirements, but i do believe i meet these as well.

very interesting.

Blogger nosouthernbelle said...

Hilarious! Not buying your story though!

Blogger gloria jean said...

Okay.. I'm sitting home alone and laughing SO loud! Thanks. That was pretty damned funny.

Blogger JJ said...

#2 seems to be pushing it a bit. If you're going to be picky you'll end up alone.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Oh please, since when have you required a pulse?

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

My god, you're awful picky.

Blogger little ol' me? said...

Little picky, aren't we?

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Damn! Only halfway there.

Blogger Housekeeper said...

Is this open to interpretation? If so, a man with a cat would qualify.

Blogger yournamehere said...

egan,
we can be emotionally intimate.

vegasvix,
not at all.

tlsd,
you are very special, and don't you forget it.

real,
thanks. Can a guy get some free concert tickets?

kat,
yes you do. Yes you do.

awe,
I'm like Prince William in that regard.

afromabq,
I think my problem is I'm not bad enough.

andi,
she was fantastic.

ubie,
only through your very liberal powers of interpretation.

trix,
I'm pretty sure you're exactly my type. Whether or not I'm YOUR type remains to be seen.

afromabg,
of course I don't mind. Thank you.

normiekins,
A guy's got to has his standards.

Blogger Lushy said...

#1 - Check.
#2 - Check.

Woo hoo! I'm in!

Blogger yournamehere said...

kendra,
you're usually right.

tumbleweed,
but I really like big asses. Doesn't that count for something?

egan,
a day without a Terri Schiavo joke is like a day without sunshine.

princess steph,
you meet every requirement I have now or ever will have in the future. I adore you.

nosouthernbelle,
which story is that?

gloria jean,
thanks for visiting my blog and thanks for the compliment.

jj,
good point. You know what a loser I am.

brooke,
in all fairness, as soon as I finished having hot sex with your lifeless body, I unselfishly revived you.

pants,
I only play hard to get.

little ol',
did you and pants plan your comments ahead of time?

ian,
keep reaching for the stars.

housekeeper,
it's not open to that interpretation.

lushy,
of course you are.

Blogger Brookelina said...

You were magnificent.

Ok so I was unconscious, but I'm sure you were at least adequate.

Blogger The real me said...

Free concert tickets anytime you're in my neighborhood.
Where you're at... all I could waggle would be some overpriced Celine Dion tickets and you'd leave wanting to scratch your own eyes out with a toothpick.

Blogger Calzone said...

Oh Mr Fancy Pants is too good to fuck dead people...well la di friggin da.

Blogger Cheska said...

That's funny, those are exactly my two sex partner requirements as well.

Blogger Ilovebawlz said...

wow, you are awfully difficult to accommodate!

Blogger yournamehere said...

brooke,
I'm all the adequate you'll ever need, baby.

real,
no Celine, ever.

calzone,
I'm such a snob, I know.

cheska,
you turn me on.

bawlz,
I am, but I mix a strong drink.

Blogger your anti-hero said...

I'm glad you clarified 'original issue' because that would open the door to a whole lot of tranvestites in Thailand.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

That is so hawt.

Blogger yournamehere said...

anti-hero,
I like Thai food, but not Thai cock.

spinning girl,
oh no, you're hawt.

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