Yesterday I listed my eight requirements for a loving life partner. For the sake of equal time to purient interests, I'd like to list my requirements for a consenting adult to have sex with me.
1. Pussy (original issue)
2. Pulse
That is all. Thank you for your time.
1. Pussy (original issue)
2. Pulse
That is all. Thank you for your time.
25 Comments:
So I guess this means you and I will never become intimate. I am so distraught. Two very simple requirements though.
... oh come on you're not that easy are you?
And I thought I was special...
:0(
Oh Todd, how I've missed you!
You are high maintenance.
You're so bad! :)
Too bad Terri Schiavo isn't around. She even met those requirements.
Unfortunately, my cat ALSO meets those requirements.
also, i linked you...hope you don't mind :).
see, i was right.
You're too easy! I like a man that is a least a bit of a challenge. Damn you!
Andi - you get the inappropriate comment of the day. I love it though. That Schiavo shit is golden.
#2 seems to be pushing it a bit. If you're going to be picky you'll end up alone.
Oh please, since when have you required a pulse?
My god, you're awful picky.
Little picky, aren't we?
Damn! Only halfway there.
Is this open to interpretation? If so, a man with a cat would qualify.
egan,
we can be emotionally intimate.
vegasvix,
not at all.
tlsd,
you are very special, and don't you forget it.
real,
thanks. Can a guy get some free concert tickets?
kat,
yes you do. Yes you do.
awe,
I'm like Prince William in that regard.
afromabq,
I think my problem is I'm not bad enough.
andi,
she was fantastic.
ubie,
only through your very liberal powers of interpretation.
trix,
I'm pretty sure you're exactly my type. Whether or not I'm YOUR type remains to be seen.
afromabg,
of course I don't mind. Thank you.
normiekins,
A guy's got to has his standards.
#1 - Check.
#2 - Check.
Woo hoo! I'm in!
kendra,
you're usually right.
tumbleweed,
but I really like big asses. Doesn't that count for something?
egan,
a day without a Terri Schiavo joke is like a day without sunshine.
princess steph,
you meet every requirement I have now or ever will have in the future. I adore you.
nosouthernbelle,
which story is that?
gloria jean,
thanks for visiting my blog and thanks for the compliment.
jj,
good point. You know what a loser I am.
brooke,
in all fairness, as soon as I finished having hot sex with your lifeless body, I unselfishly revived you.
pants,
I only play hard to get.
little ol',
did you and pants plan your comments ahead of time?
ian,
keep reaching for the stars.
housekeeper,
it's not open to that interpretation.
lushy,
of course you are.
You were magnificent.
Ok so I was unconscious, but I'm sure you were at least adequate.
Free concert tickets anytime you're in my neighborhood.
Where you're at... all I could waggle would be some overpriced Celine Dion tickets and you'd leave wanting to scratch your own eyes out with a toothpick.
brooke,
I'm all the adequate you'll ever need, baby.
real,
no Celine, ever.
calzone,
I'm such a snob, I know.
cheska,
you turn me on.
bawlz,
I am, but I mix a strong drink.
That is so hawt.
anti-hero,
I like Thai food, but not Thai cock.
spinning girl,
oh no, you're hawt.
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