Wednesday, August 23, 2006
And the winner is...

Remember several years ago when Britney and Christina fought each other capped tooth and press-on nail for Teen Pop supremacy? I think Britney just threw in the proverbial towel, in the form of a stained grey top from the discount bin at Wal-Mart.

I'm assuming someone invested Britney's money wisely, because that picture's telling me "I know I'll never earn another penny for as long as I live, and I'm cool with it." Yes, I know she's pregnant. BUT LOOK AT HER! I never want Starbucks again, she looks so bad. Catherine Zeta Jones never looked like that when she was knocked up with Oldie McOlderson's spawn, and she's got at least ten years on Brit.

Britney Spears is a singer who can't sing. Her only job, one that up until recently paid her millions of dollars, was to look damn good. And now she can't even do that. Her shirt has a fucking stain on it, for the love of The Captain and Tenelle!

Christina Aguilera looks good now. She went through her stripper phase and her ill-advised clown/whore phase, but she came out of them relatively unscathed. She's also married, to a trollish little man who's barely five-feet tall. But at least he's not Federcunt. Really, all Christina had to do to win the "Best Husband" category was marry a human being over the age of eighteen. Mission accomplished.

There really isn't a point to this post, other than stating the universally accepted fact that Britney Spears is now a horrid she-beast. I'd also like to add that Christina Aguilera has a great ass. Check out the "stripper phase" again. You know you want to.


Blogger n.v. said...

Aguilera is a hoor and a media-skank. She pretends to be better than that, but we all know the truth that glints in her glassy eyes.

Blogger n.v. said...

That being said, Christina is nice to look at. A pretty girl, but she needs to cut down on the makeup. It's totally unnecessary.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Still, NV, you must admit that Britney is a poster child for what happens when you marry a man who's bad for you.

At least Christina doesn't look like someone siphoned her glamour off with a hose. She just looks like someone applied her makeup with one.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Britney just makes me sad.

She's just a poor idiot girl stupid enough to marry some retard with super sperm and now she's in way, way over her head.

Blogger katie schwartz said...

twitney is a freak. she married her distraction and let him knock her up TWICE. what kind of a fuckin' moron does that?! and why didn't someone in her white trash brigade say, "you are giving white trash a bad name!"

she-beast made me scream.

Blogger Nick said...

I don't care about any of this.

Blogger n.v. said...

Oobz, I do admit. Though Britney is so much more likeable than Christina because she's a fuck-up.

Ahhh, I actually miss the stripper phase a little. The dual-tone hair was nice, but the ass was nicer. Brit could be the poster child for trailers-r-us.

Blogger Flounder said...

Let's not forget that Christina can actually sing her ass off.

Oh, and she is WAY hotter too.

Blogger The Lone Rangers said...

Just because Brit is wearing the least sperm stained shirt she could find doesn't make her a bad person....

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

Funny how the herd thins out over time. I remember people were saying that Christina was a Britney rip-off and she may well have been at one time. But Britney is through and all she'll have left is a hubby whose thin, little semi-porn 'stache looks like it left a cheesy 70's porno only weeks ago.

Blogger tlsd said...

Whilst they are both puppets of the music industry water always runs back to the sea... Britney was scum before, now she's returned to scumsville... does anyone care?

Christina on the other hand actually has an ounce of talent... not sure there really is a need for soooo much makeup... although I did think she looked hot in the dirty video...

Blogger ETaylor said...

I love Britney..I dont care what any of you say. I did enjoy your description of "horrid she-beast" however.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

is it wrong that im still attracted to Brit?

Blogger miss kendra said...

they've both made some questionable choices, but atleast christina is making at a normal pace.

i agree with tits- britney is in way over her head. i feel really bad for her and hope that when she finally realizes that she needs to back up and start over she has the support she needs to do so.

because i am a nice person.

who misses seeing her hot.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I can honestly I don't give a fuck about either of them.

I'm with Brooke. Well, not literally.

Blogger katarina said...

Wow, she really DOES have a great ass.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I forgot to mention Christina's "Talk like an inner-city black chick" phase. She's like Madonna except she can probably feel sex.

Britney looks like someone beat her with the unglamour stick.

never print out Federfart's full name. You could become pregnant with his child from doing that. He's that fertile.

her stupid palsy-twat mom was too busy spending money to take care of her fucking meal ticket. And it looks like Britney has inherited her dubious parenting skills.

if you don't care about that ass shot, I pity you.

I think Britney's a horrible mother and doesn't seem to want to improve. That makes her unlikeable to me.

I'm glad you appreciate the ass, since Nick didn't.

she has a good voice. I don't like her material, but she can sing.

Blogger yournamehere said...

yes it does.

Federline shouldn't be able to get laid at a bad night club, and Britney Spears let him rumage around in her million-dollar poon? I don't get it.

I think she looked unclean in the dirty video, but maybe that was the point.

you're a true fan. Who knows, maybe she'll divorce the human cancer, get back into shape, and bring her comeback tour to a city near you so you can spend two-hundred dollars to watch her lip-synch.

cold hands,
yes, it is wrong, but thanks for asking.

well put. My old man lust misses the old Britney. She had quite the ass as well.

not even a little fuck?

I like to think we're all together in spirit.

damn right she does.

Blogger Rachel said...

Not even a little fuck...

neither even register on my radar.

But you do! ;)

Blogger n.v. said...

Toodles, Christina aspires to be Madonna. She recently nicknamed herself Baby Jane (as in one of the old movie stars). Madonna did the same thing at this point in her career and forced people around her to refer to Her Dirty Cuntness as Baby Dietrich. So fucking narcissistic!

Blogger n.v. said...

The black chick phase was just wrong. So were her braids.

Some of us couldn't care less if either can sing or how well they parent. As long as they shake their money makers and dress scantily, they're performing the one meaningful service millions of men (and probably lots of chicks) expect of them: objectification for masturbational purposes.

[It stings less to feminists if you use scientific jargon.]

Blogger MsAPhillips said...


Jet-black hair
Large aviator glasses
Pathologically spreading waistline
Washed-up and clueless
Random losers stealing show-biz earnings...

I believe this is the best she can do in creating a performance art homage to End-Stage Elvis.

Blogger Crystal said...

Hey, Britney took the time to put on lipstick, man.

I haven't shaved my legs in 4 months.

Blogger bikipatra said...

Still...Xtina has never held the public in thrall as Britbrit continues to do. Splain?

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Skank! (yelling)

Sorry, I have Tourettes. I was talking to Britney, not you.


Blogger Burr-ee-toe said...

Okay, I know I'm slow commenting on this, but I love Christina Aguilera. If ever there were a girl crush to be had, mine would definitely be her.

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