Sunday, January 07, 2007
Wow, what a complete and utter whore


This is Bobby Petrino. Until today, he was the football coach for the University of Louisville.

You see, even though he just signed a ten year contract with Louisville and swore "this is the right place for me and my family", the Atlanta Falcons offered him a dollar more; so he used that contract, and his word, to wipe his lying ass.

I knew the conniving fuck would eventually bolt, but I thought he'd at least wait for a good job. Atlanta has been widely described as "The worst pro sports town in America" for its complete lack of interest in the area's teams. When he fails miserably, which in Atlanta is virtually guaranteed, I won't be able to suppress a hardy guffaw. Oh, and I pray to God that he and his family, for whom Louisville was so perfect, contract the ebola virus.

Of course, now the University of Louisville's athletic director is going to steal away the up-and-coming coach of a smaller school. The new coach will either fail, in which case he'll be unceremoniously fired; or he'll succeed and a pro team or bigger college will take him from us. That's the way it goes.

Still, it doesn't make Bobby Petrino any less of a lying cunt.


22 Comments:

Holy Shit, I didn't hear about this yet. That sucks bro. That truly sucks.

Maybe he can trade jobs with Jim Mora?

Blogger yournamehere said...

vast,
I want Jim Mora, Senior to be our head coach. The press conferences would be priceless.

"BOWL GAME? Don't talk about a BOWL GAME."

He's a complete Douchebag. Scrap him, go for Hal Mumme!

Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

HOLY SHIT...

I had the same thought as VRWC as I clicked on the comment button. Jim Mora got his ass fired for talking about abandoning the pros for a collegiate job.

Fuck Petrino, he'll fail just like Mora did.
It's not the coaching that cost Atlanta the playoffs, it was the lack of coordination in the offense (on the players side), and an overrated QB...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet he made this decision right after Brohm and Bush told him they weren't coming back. He's no dummy. He knew to flee a sinking ship, like most of these douchebags do. It's like politicians. These guys all have bigger egos than elephants have dicks. Whoever Jurich hires next, forget the contracts and all the shmoozing. Just pay the fucker by the game and start lining up his replacement from Day One. Petrino was shopping himself around even before the paint had dried on his shiny new Louisville home. Auburn, LSU, Raiders, whoever. Sneaking around, getting his ego-cock sucked. You had to see this coming a mile away.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I kinda thought that you might have something to say about this today.

They should bring back Howard Schnellenberger.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He and Nick Saban should be bunk buddies. Apparently, repeatedly denying you're going to take a job elsewhere is the surest sign you are these days.

You can have our old coach since he's unemployed now, Dirk "The Assclown Who Couldn't Coach A Kid Into Faking A Cold" Koetter

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate it when my cunt lies.

Oh wait, were you talking about football? Meh, I've got nothing.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Louisville has a football team?

Blogger miss kendra said...

i don't know much about "sports" per se, but i am righteously indignant on your behalf.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck Nick Saban too. He's a complete and utter whore as well.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Fitting that guys like Petrino and Saban are destined to spend their days whoring themselves on the most depressing street corners in the United States. Atlanta? Tuscaloosa? You couldn't pay me millions to live there! And I wouldn't be an Atlanta Falcons fan if they promised me the franchise to do so.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like whores.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I love this post, and you know why.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I say we kill him.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

what is this foosball you speak of?

Blogger Melissa said...

This is about football?

Sorry, I got nothing. Even though I live in a state where ninety-plus percent of the residents bleed green and gold during football season, I still got nothing.

I did like it when you called him a cunt, though.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He looks like a douchebag. I disliked him from the moment I set eyes on him (which was about 15 seconds ago).

Blogger yournamehere said...

vast,
Hal Mumme is the worst coach ever. He'd score fifty points and lose.

stormin,
he'll get his piece of humble pie.

john,
I was thinking he'd hold out for a good job, at least.

flounder,
they named the football complex after him. That's enough.

cincy,
but Nick Saban, who is even a bigger liar, at least set himself up to succeed. Petrino is gonna fail. And fail big.

cold hands,
you said "cunt". That's something.

ubie,
well, they did have a football team.

kendra,
I appreciate the effort.

liv,
yes he is. But don't fuck him. He doesn't deserve you.

ian,
Atlanta is probably a great city if you're rich. Tuscaloosa? Not so much.

tits,
oh, I love you. *sigh*

spinning,
I sure as cunt do know why.

brooke,
let's do it.

diadima,
you are cute enough to get away with such a lack of interest in sports.

melissa,
for you, I'll happily call lots of people "cunt".

andi,
thanks for having my back. I'd like to have your front.

Blogger Nick said...

The reason that no one in atlanta supports the teams is because they can't afford tickets.

They spent all their welfare money on rims that keep spinning after the car is stopped, hats with flat brims that can be worn over their ears, lotto tickets and weed.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nick, is that your homage to the Blacksploitation films of the 1970's?

Blogger Nick said...

Who said anything about Black people. Racist, much?

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