Friday, March 14, 2008
Oh Politics, You Dirty Slut-Bitch!
This morning, as I paid $3.49 a gallon for gas, I said a silent prayer that George Bush, Dick Cheney, and their oil cronies one day taste Satan's lava-jizz as they burn in Hell forever. Is that too harsh? Didn't think so.

A lot of people are excited about this year's election. Frankly, I'm not one of these people. In fact, I'm tired of it already. Let's get this Democratic nomination thing over with and just have the election in June. It'll be nice and sunny across the country and the voter turnout will be high. Then we can throw Bush out by late August/early September. Here's to a Bush-free Labor Day!

Back to reality, I just can't muster the hatred for McCain that I feel for Bush. Yes, he has abandoned a lot of his beliefs, but that's what happens when you run for president. The unwavering candidates never make it to Super Tuesday.

Why do I hate Bush oh so much more than McCain? Maybe I think of John McCain getting sharpened bamboo shoved up his ass by the Viet Cong while George Bush drank Shiner Bock out of a Corporal's butt crack in some bogus Sons of Rich Texans National Guard unit.

Keep in mind that I want the eventual Dem nominee to be elected president, but there's no way a McCain presidency would be as bad as what we have now. Really, there's no fucking way it could be as bad.

Ok, there's one way: John McCain selects Nicole Ritchie as his running mate. As soon as he's inagurated he suffers a debilitating stroke and Nicole becomes president. Then it has a chance to be as horrible.


14 Comments:

I think Miss Ritchie becoming Vice President is one of the signs of the apocolypse.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Another sign of the apocalypse; me finding an emotionally available guy. I'll keep you posted but considering my record, we should be safe for a long time to come.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

You won't need to worry about gas prices in detention camp.

Blogger dguzman said...

What a great idea--a June election! And getting rid of the Bushco-cancer-on-our-body-politic that much sooner!

Blogger John said...

I can't decide who is helped more by Obama being nominated. McCain will benefit from a large turnout of racist voters who might otherwise stay home, but then Obama will benefit from a huge turnout among blacks who otherwise wouldn't bother. It might turn on the Hispanic vote. They've been keeping Hillary afloat, helping her win CA, TX, and a couple other states. Should be interesting.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I should really stop commenting on sleeping pills.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I agree with everything in this post.

Blogger FRITZ said...

Nicole Ritchie?










icky pooh.

Blogger Blonde said...

Hi hot stuff...I had a feeling I would ecounter political chat upon my return to the blogosphere!

Saw a guy wearing a shirt today with a pick of Obama and Hilary and it said Bro's before Ho's. Classic!

Love you and I am back to blogging.

Blogger Scott said...

You think the Marxists/Dems will keep the gas tax where it is? They have never seen a tax they didn't love. I personally look forward to paying $4 a liter like they pay in the highly taxed, highly socialized countries of Europe.

Blogger ginonymous said...

gas will eventually run out, so i suppose we should all get used to paying out the arse for it, right?

or we should start thinking forward and planning for that day, i dunno..

i heard talk of colin powell being mccain's running mate. again, dunno. he's going to have to get someone more to the right of him in order to balance the ticket. the whole thing stinks.

:(

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

What makes McCain bad is that he looks forward to 100 years of war and actually sang, "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." That, to me, more than cancels out all of the positive qualities that have right-wingers virtually crying.

I don't see too many Democratic- leaning voters staying home this time around. Right?

Blogger egan said...

I hear you man. McCain was a P.O.W.? I never knew that.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

"Keep in mind that I want the eventual Dem nominee to be elected president, but there's no way a McCain presidency would be as bad as what we have now. Really, there's no fucking way it could be as bad."

Wow. You are SO going to regret typing these words one day now. The country will blame you my friend, they will blame you.

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