Saturday, December 27, 2008
Merry Obsolescence!
I received The Dark Knight on DVD as a swell Christmas present. I was actually happy for about a minute, until the VERY FIRST THING on the DVD was a commercial for the Blu-ray HD format. The ad essentially told me my DVD player, and in extension the very DVD I was watching, was the kind of outdated technology you made fun of your grandfather for having; until he died and you felt really guilty for being so fucking superficial and petty.

Anyway, what the fuck? Why was my Christmas gift insulting itself? Is this the way Sony plans to indoctrine America? "You're watching this great movie on a DVD player? Holy god, you suck. Why don't you just smear the tv screen with strawberry preserves and grow giant cataracts on your eyes, imbecile."

By the time the movie was over, I was a little loopy on spiked egg nog, but I think I heard the following over the closing credits: "You still have a crappy non-HD square television, don't you? Way to hang on to every penny like it's your balls. Your cheap ass is one of the reasons the economy is in the shitter. Seriously, fuck you!"

I've never been so insulted.


9 Comments:

DVD's are the new VHS I guess.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Not quite. DVDs will go obsolete when Blu-Ray costs $20 at Dollar General and every homeless tennager has them.

Until then, Blu-Ray is a hyper-expensive toy for film geeks who happen to have all 35 components necessary for Blu-Ray to mean anything.

Blogger Übermilf said...

you can afford electricity? You're rich.

Blogger John Daniels said...

The same goes with that round circle with the / or X when you try to skip all the bullshit you have seen a thousand times before. Get a dvd player that disables the uop.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I knew you were the reason the economy was in the shitter!

Blogger Übermilf said...

I thought he was the reason our country is in the shitter.

Hey bro, can you believe Marmalard lead the Chargers to the playoffs? It's a miracle.

Blogger P said...

FYI
Google Trends was used to show that Kentucky is the most obscene state in the nation.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Todd has carried his state to the top!

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