Friday, January 02, 2009
We interrupt the regularly scheduled post to laugh at Dane Cook's expense

I was going to talk about New Year's Eve and the end (thank God) of another holiday season, but I just read that Dane Cook's brother has been stealing loads of money from him. Come on, who cares how drunk I got or how annoying our customers were when Dane Cook's sibling is ripping him off?

Normally, I would be appalled that a family member was betraying a trust in such a blatant manner, but this is Dane Cook we're talking about. In my humble opinion, Dane Cook STOLE THIS MONEY FROM THE GULLIBLE PUBLIC, and his brother is just stealing it back.

I'm sorry, but I think it's hilarious that Dane's bro is taking money that Dane didn't deserve in the first place. I hope the guy wasted the cash on shiny trinkets, hardcore pharmaceuticals, and women of questionable character. It's what Dane would have done with the money, only in a much douchier way.

And I hope it didn't end there. I'd like to hear that he ate Dane's gourmet food and fucked Dane's hot girlfriends too. It would amuse me to know that "Do that thing your brother does!" is a sentence Dane Cook has heard more than once.

I'll write about the New Year's Eve festivities later in the week, but I do have time to mention one New Year's resolution I have. I resolve to be less petty and vengeful this year. Really, what good does it do to hold on to old grudges? Aren't we all just human beings trying to get by?


Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

"Do that thing your brother does!" just made me spit my coffee on to the monitor yet again.

It's nice to see you starting off your New Year's resolution on the right foot.

That is a shining example of Douchebag Karma!

I'm glad to hear about your resolutions too bro. You hold a grudge like an Arab. It's just not healthy.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I also liked how he was already paying his brother 12 grand a month.

I'd refrain from embezzling if someone paid ME 12 grand a month, and they don't even have to be a relative.

Blogger Miss Pants said...

What the hell is he doing with his hand?

And yes, totally unfunny times infinity.

Whne I heard he stole millions from Dane, I thought to myself, "Wow that son of a bitch made millions, it's a crazy world."

Blogger Ambitious Blonde said...

I also nazed my coffee at "Do that thing your brother does!"

And you may resolve to be less petty and grudgy as long as is it means your posts will still keep making me smile. :)

Blogger lp said...

i think i hate dane cook more than i hate hippies... he might be in a tie with ann coulter, though.

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