Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Amie, Remember This?
A few posts ago I welcomed my friend Amie to the blogging world. Today I'd like to share a very short story involving her.

One day after work, my friend Ben (then Amie's boyfriend, now her husband) and I decided to get a sandwich so we stopped by Amie's place of employment at the time, Life Uniforms. This was before she joined us at the hugantic liquor store, so she spent her days getting yelled at by nurses because the 8x stout was a special order.

The parking lot was full up front, so Ben pulled his car up by the entrance and I went in to take Amie's order. I looked through the door and saw that she was alone, so I burst in and yelled, "Hey, do you have a 2xl tall Conquistador's outfit, preferably one with a codpiece?"

As soon as the words left my mouth four or five old ladies came out from the fitting area. They had stunned looks on their faces like my comment triggered a Hindenberg flashback in the lot of them. All I could do was say to Amie, "Uh, do you want anything from Blimpie's?"

Amie, did you think I was going to mention Pam's big luscious tits?

Also, spell check wants me to replace "Amie" with "ammo".


Blogger tango jellybean said...

Todd, please move home immediately. I am crying from laughter right now....I had completely forgotten about that. Wow, Pam's bodacious tatas...they haunt my dreams still.

Blogger Blonde said...

That is classic!

I wish I had a friend like you scream at me at my work....hahahahahahahahaha!

Blogger babyjewels said...

Were you looking for a 2xl specially in the codpiece area?

Blogger MollyNormal said...

What's a codpiece? Please tell me it has nothing to do with body parts that smell like fish.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Miss Molly, I believe the codpiece was like a metal athletic cup, worn on the outside instead of under clothes. Particularly for knights.

Why "codpiece?" I don't know.

Blogger MollyNormal said...

Milfy they should just call it a COCKpiece.

Blogger Crystal said...

Todd, you're a riot and I bet it's a lotta fun having you around to hang with! As far as Blimpies, I use to love that place but we don't have any of those here in Chicago, we've got Subway & Quiznos but no Blimpies.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I am going to list codpiece amongst qualities I'd like to have in a man, in the next personal ad I post on craigslist.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Hey, Crystal, we've got them in the suburbs.

We're the heighth of civilization out here.

We've got Fuddrucker's, too.

Blogger JackassJimmy said...

I'm going to agree with Crystal and say that it would be awesome to hang out. I am thinking I would need long term, in-patient care due to a burst spleen.

I think that is just how much laughing I would do.

Keep the stories coming.


Blogger Brookelina said...

That could be your new handle - the codpieced conquistador!

As usual, spillage of beverage occurred while reading your blog. I should learn not to have liquids when I come here.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Pam had some sweeeet boobage. Too bad she was a petty thief.

I wish I had a hot friend like you to scream at.

huh, yeah, that's it. The 2xl has nothing to do with my fat stomach. You know no one ever lies on the internet.

what ubie said. I think "cod" is medievel speak for "cock".

you are a wealth of arcane info, and I love you for it.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I'm funny when I'm with a kindred spirit. That Blimpie's changed owners and went downhill. Yeech.

ms. pants,
every woman wants the codpiece.

Fudruckers is great. We had a copycat called W.W. Cousins in Louisville and I ate at a real Fuddruckers in Nashville.

J.A. Jimmy,
Let me know if you're ever in Vegas. We'll play Bingo and drink vanilla sodas.

it does my soul well when you involuntarily dispell beverages.

Blogger MoDigli said...

I need you to burst into my workplace and say that very thing! The middle schoolers would probably get a real kick out of it, and I sure could use the laugh! :) And then, if you got me a blimpie on top of all that, that would be PERFECT! I would love a day like that! :))

Blogger MoDigli said...

BTW, how is it possible that I never see spam on your comments, but you don't have the word verification? how'd you get around that one?

Blogger Rachel said...

You are as always, hilarious and adorable.

Love ya, mean it!

Blogger yournamehere said...

I've mentioned this before, but on someone else's blog, so here is my theory: I think having "ass" in the title of my blog and having the phrase "Flag this, motherfuckers" below the title helps keep the spammers at bay.

Blogger yournamehere said...

damn, you are sweet!

Blogger aughra said...


Isn't it scary how people in the medical field seem to be in the worse fucking shape?

Blogger JJ said...

I went and checked out Amie's blog. Thanks, peckermullet, I now have an even dozen blogs I don't have time to keep up with. You know she sounds a lot like you. Maybe you were separated at birth when the Enterprise backed up too fast.

Blogger yournamehere said...

my doctor back in Louisville was fit, and he held it over my head every time I had a damn cold.

I chided Amie until she started a blog, in part because I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. HA.

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