A few posts ago I welcomed my friend Amie to the blogging world. Today I'd like to share a very short story involving her.
One day after work, my friend Ben (then Amie's boyfriend, now her husband) and I decided to get a sandwich so we stopped by Amie's place of employment at the time, Life Uniforms. This was before she joined us at the hugantic liquor store, so she spent her days getting yelled at by nurses because the 8x stout was a special order.
The parking lot was full up front, so Ben pulled his car up by the entrance and I went in to take Amie's order. I looked through the door and saw that she was alone, so I burst in and yelled, "Hey, do you have a 2xl tall Conquistador's outfit, preferably one with a codpiece?"
As soon as the words left my mouth four or five old ladies came out from the fitting area. They had stunned looks on their faces like my comment triggered a Hindenberg flashback in the lot of them. All I could do was say to Amie, "Uh, do you want anything from Blimpie's?"
*******
Amie, did you think I was going to mention Pam's big luscious tits?
Also, spell check wants me to replace "Amie" with "ammo".
One day after work, my friend Ben (then Amie's boyfriend, now her husband) and I decided to get a sandwich so we stopped by Amie's place of employment at the time, Life Uniforms. This was before she joined us at the hugantic liquor store, so she spent her days getting yelled at by nurses because the 8x stout was a special order.
The parking lot was full up front, so Ben pulled his car up by the entrance and I went in to take Amie's order. I looked through the door and saw that she was alone, so I burst in and yelled, "Hey, do you have a 2xl tall Conquistador's outfit, preferably one with a codpiece?"
As soon as the words left my mouth four or five old ladies came out from the fitting area. They had stunned looks on their faces like my comment triggered a Hindenberg flashback in the lot of them. All I could do was say to Amie, "Uh, do you want anything from Blimpie's?"
*******
Amie, did you think I was going to mention Pam's big luscious tits?
Also, spell check wants me to replace "Amie" with "ammo".
18 Comments:
Todd, please move home immediately. I am crying from laughter right now....I had completely forgotten about that. Wow, Pam's bodacious tatas...they haunt my dreams still.
That is classic!
I wish I had a friend like you scream at me at my work....hahahahahahahahaha!
Were you looking for a 2xl specially in the codpiece area?
Miss Molly, I believe the codpiece was like a metal athletic cup, worn on the outside instead of under clothes. Particularly for knights.
Why "codpiece?" I don't know.
Todd, you're a riot and I bet it's a lotta fun having you around to hang with! As far as Blimpies, I use to love that place but we don't have any of those here in Chicago, we've got Subway & Quiznos but no Blimpies.
I am going to list codpiece amongst qualities I'd like to have in a man, in the next personal ad I post on craigslist.
Hey, Crystal, we've got them in the suburbs.
We're the heighth of civilization out here.
We've got Fuddrucker's, too.
I'm going to agree with Crystal and say that it would be awesome to hang out. I am thinking I would need long term, in-patient care due to a burst spleen.
I think that is just how much laughing I would do.
Keep the stories coming.
Cheers,
Jackass
That could be your new handle - the codpieced conquistador!
As usual, spillage of beverage occurred while reading your blog. I should learn not to have liquids when I come here.
amie,
Pam had some sweeeet boobage. Too bad she was a petty thief.
blonde,
I wish I had a hot friend like you to scream at.
babyjewels,
huh, yeah, that's it. The 2xl has nothing to do with my fat stomach. You know no one ever lies on the internet.
mollyn.,
what ubie said. I think "cod" is medievel speak for "cock".
ubie,
you are a wealth of arcane info, and I love you for it.
crystal,
I'm funny when I'm with a kindred spirit. That Blimpie's changed owners and went downhill. Yeech.
ms. pants,
every woman wants the codpiece.
milfiekins,
Fudruckers is great. We had a copycat called W.W. Cousins in Louisville and I ate at a real Fuddruckers in Nashville.
J.A. Jimmy,
Let me know if you're ever in Vegas. We'll play Bingo and drink vanilla sodas.
brooke,
it does my soul well when you involuntarily dispell beverages.
I need you to burst into my workplace and say that very thing! The middle schoolers would probably get a real kick out of it, and I sure could use the laugh! :) And then, if you got me a blimpie on top of all that, that would be PERFECT! I would love a day like that! :))
BTW, how is it possible that I never see spam on your comments, but you don't have the word verification? how'd you get around that one?
You are as always, hilarious and adorable.
Love ya, mean it!
rachel,
damn, you are sweet!
Nice.
Isn't it scary how people in the medical field seem to be in the worse fucking shape?
I went and checked out Amie's blog. Thanks, peckermullet, I now have an even dozen blogs I don't have time to keep up with. You know she sounds a lot like you. Maybe you were separated at birth when the Enterprise backed up too fast.
aughra,
my doctor back in Louisville was fit, and he held it over my head every time I had a damn cold.
JJ,
I chided Amie until she started a blog, in part because I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. HA.
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