Sunday, September 25, 2005
A Blogger Welcome and Random Thoughts
I'm very happy today because one of my bestest friends from back home has just started her very own blog. I'm not sure if she wants her real name revealed, so since her username is tango jellybean, I'll call her TJ.

TJ was one of my closest friends the last few years I lived in Louisville. Her now-husband is also a good friend and the person who introduced us. I think the fact that I knew from the moment I met her that she was completely off the market allowed us to become so close. There was never any tension or wondering 'what if'; I just enjoyed the hell out of her company. I seriously believe she is the shorter, better looking, younger, female version of me.

She and her husband moved to Baltimore a few weeks before I moved to Vegas in what I like to call the Louisville Mass Exodus of 2002. They found Baltimore to be an open sewer and now reside in Lexington, Kentucky, Louisville's dim-witted cousin.

Well, enough sentiment. TJ has a blog entitled Countless Screaming Argonauts that can be found at Please stop by and welcome her to Blogger Nation.

And now, more Random Thoughts:

- In the early nineties, I briefly stopped huffing spray-on paint fumes from a brown paper bag, but then Hammer reminded me I'm "Too Legit to Quit".

- Know what's a bad Christmas gift? Box of foreskins.

- I happened to need the bag of rubber bands for my job and their purchase had absolutely nothing to do with the extra large condoms I bought.

- Looking back, it was a bad idea to name the abortion clinic "Critter Ridders".

- This is a sentence you'll never hear: "Put that in layman's terms, Mr. President."

- It's embarrassing to be seen buying tampons for your girlfriend; it's humiliating to be seen buying tampons for your inflatable three-entry love doll, whom you've named Charlotte.

- Okay, I was thrown out of the stadium for 'booing', but some of those Special Olympians weren't giving 110 percent.

- Why do I think they should move Mardi Gras to Fargo, North Dakota? Two words: Hard nips.

Thanks to all for the birthday wishes.


Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Yo, Todd - So sorry I am late in wishing you a happy birthday. Many, many more!

Blogger Kris said...

I'd just like to spend one day inside your brain. Is there a waiting list?

Happy bday, too. :)

Blogger Ruben said...

"Okay, I was thrown out of the stadium for 'booing', but some of those Special Olympians weren't giving 110 percent."This has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read.

Blogger katarina said...

"Know what's a bad Christmas gift? Box of foreskins."

Is what got me. There was some serious laughter going on. Not good with a full bladder.

Blogger Rachel said...

Honey, I am dying to know what you did and how your birthday went.

Send me an email if you need to. If you need bail money, call me.


Blogger Blonde said...

I have read in several magazines that if NOLA isn't ready for Mardi Gras that the party is going to be in Vegas. You are going to be seeing more of me then you thought ;).

I will check out your friend's blog and tell her that you sent me. I hope that she makes me laugh out loud like you do!

Blogger MollyNormal said...

If you want hard nips, visit Milwaukee in winter. Mine are usually pretty good for opening envelopes about mid-January.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

There's a picture opposite me...
of my primitive ancestry...

So, did you make the brownies?

Though I respect that a lot...
I'd be fired if that was my job...
After killing Jason off and ...

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Did you ever see that terrible Philip Seymour Hoffman movie, "Love Liza?" It's about huffing. And suicide. It was terrible. If you missed it, promise me you'll never, ever, EVER see it. It is hands down the most depressing movie I have ever seen.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

I can't believe that you didn't like my gift of foreskins.


see if I ever send you anything again.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Thank you, sir.

There's a waiting list to get out of my brain.

Just because they're special, that's no reason to slack.

if you piss yourself, don't send me the dry cleaning bill. Ha.

Kisses back at ya.

Blogger yournamehere said...

If you're here for Mardi Gras Vegas, I'll be sure to be there with you, you know, for support.

I might have to visit you in January and bring about a month's worth of mail with me.

Cool that you know the lyrics. Check out her blog sometime. I ended up being invited to watch football on Sunday, so I'll have to make the brownies soon.

ms. pants,
I won't go near it. Thanks for the tip.

you sent me a wallet made of foreskins, but when I rub it, it turns into a briefcase.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

that was quite the odd response there Todd - now I want to dry hump you.

Blogger yournamehere said...

how odd does the response have to be for me to get some full penetration action going? Ha.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

oh you are almost there.

Post a Comment

<< Home