Monday, September 19, 2005
What Do I Want for My Birthday?
For my birthday, I want boobie pics and brownie recipes. Yes, lovely ladies of blogger, my birthday is this Saturday, September 24th, and I would like you to send me photos of your tits, your hoots, your jig-bittles. Blogger guys, I don't want photos from you, thanks oh so much, but if you have a favorite brownie recipe, please forward it.

I'll probably get a lot of grief for this request, but we're all adults here and this is obviously voluntary, so get over it.

Ladies, the photos can be your boobs in various stages of undress up to and including totally nude, which is of course preferable. I do realize some of you are shy, so if you have to be wearing a bra make it nice and lacey. Women who don't want me to even think about their breasts are more than welcome to join the guys and send brownie recipes.

As for the brownie recipes, let's try not to send the typical crap you find on the back of a can of cocoa. I want old family recipes handed down from generation to generation. Actually, I want one recipe and about fifty boobie pics, but I'll take what I can get.

I hope everyone doesn't hate me now. If so I'll be extra funny in the weeks ahead to win you back.

Email the boobie pics and brownie recipes to This is my secondary email address. Anyone who has my primary address can use that if they wish.

I realize I'm going to get pictures of man-boobs and dog nuts from bitter pranksters. Deleting is easy.

Once again, no offense to anyone, I'm just getting old, I'm depressed as hell about it, and some breastage shots will cheer me up. Or I'll eat my weight in brownies and slip into a coma.


Can I send pics of the breasts of African tribeswomen??

Blogger The Dummy said...

Darn, man boobs would've been funny. And I don't have any good brownie recipes either, but I haven't eaten a brownie I didn't like, so they're all good to me.

Blogger yournamehere said...

yeah, go ahead and ruin my birthday, I don't care.

I'm looking for the ultimate brownie experience.

Blogger Nettie B said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH....boobs and brownies. That's too funny. D and I will see what we can do. Brownie recipe is covered for SURE!

Blogger yournamehere said...

That is the enthusiasm I'm looking for! Thank you.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I'm going to send you pictures of Phyllis Diller's tits.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

sorry, no boobies for you, but a sincere happy birthday wish nonetheless!

Blogger yournamehere said...

ms. pants,
Why don't you and Andi just get on a plane, fly to Vegas and kick me in the nuts? Remind me to rain on your birthday. Ha.

" boobies for you." What are you, the boobie nazi? Just kidding. Thanks for the good wishes.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

You better be careful or I might fly Phyllis Diller's tits to Vegas so you can enjoy them in person. Rain on my birthday would be a welcome change, I swear to god it fucking hailed half of my birthdays growing up.

Blogger mastershake said...

Wow, so, so much wrong with that post. In a weird way reminds me of my auntie at the last family reunion, so, so much cellulite. And you dont got to worry about getting old untill you turn senile, which hopefully isnt for a while. Happy birthday and if I had pay pal, I'd give you some lapdance money. You do live in vegas after all.

Blogger katarina said...

Does it have to be my boobies?

Blogger aughra said...

Oh jeez, just go over to my blog for the boob shots....

Blogger yournamehere said...

ms. pants,
I've always wanted to meet Phyllis Diller, although I'd probably refrain from feeling her up.

thanks for the pity, young man.

yes, they should be yours. In fact, I wanted EVERYONE to send photos of your boobs, but I realized the sheer legistics of that would prove impossible.

actually, your "girls" were the inspiration for this post. Thank you.

Blogger Crystal said...

Are you gonna post the pics on the Internet? Ha, I wonder how many people are gonna actually grant you this Birthday Wish!

Blogger Bobby said...

I will be getting all of the girls in my building to let me take pics of their boobies, with brownies wedged in between. (I will be using the brownies to entice them for the pics.)

Fun project for the week.

Blogger Rob Danger said...

see while I completely understand both requests I feel as though I see enough dink through porn that if I'm going to make a special request on my birthday it would be for actual dink. Or in your case, boobies.
Brownies on the otherhand I eat whenever the store is open. And look at that it's 24hours!

Blogger Übermilf said...

Look, I sincerely have the hands-down best brownie recipe in THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

I'm not trying to be funny; I'll e-mail it to you.

You didn't specify naked or clothed as to the boobies. My picture, while clothed, is attached to my comments. Is that ok?

Blogger JJ said...

Sorry, Todd, but my man-jiggle-bits wherever they are located on my body are for MLA alone and the only brownie recipe I have starts with "get stoned, open wrapper..."

Blogger Crystal said...

I'll send you some. I hope you have lots of storage in your email.

Blogger Ruben said...

I hope that your birthday will be a blast, but you might want to avoid the brownies they may trigger off some pre-senior citizen bowl movement and have you riding the porcelain throne all day.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Brownie covered boobies. Got it.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

alright, so don't name names, but how many pairs of boobies did ya get?

Blogger yournamehere said...

I will NOT post any pictures on the internet. I don't expect a lot of pictures, honestly.

everyone wins with that project.

I would have requested that female bloggers fly to Vegas at their own expense so I could grope their cans, but I felt I was pushing my luck with just the pictures.

of course that's fine. I like me some brownies and I mention in the post that boobs in all stages are welcome.

Blogger yournamehere said...

that's okay, man. You contribute in so many other ways, sir.

I think my email can handle them. No pun intended, or was there?

If I inhale air rigorously it makes me have to shit, and this isn't a sign of old age; I'll always been like that.

if you send me boobies covered in brownie batter I swear I'll be your personal slave.

a few positive responses, but none so far.

Blogger Crystal said...

You have mail, motherfucker!!

Blogger Rachel said...

Sorry honey, don't think I have any ta-ta pictures.

Damn, I even took the Half-Nekkid one down.

Blogger yournamehere said...

My hero worship of you is stronger than ever.

you still rule, babe. How about a brownie recipe?

Blogger Dr. Chingasa said...

You whore! Uuuuhhh, you still have my e-mail address right?

Blogger mastershake said...

woooowwww, talk about your wepons of masturbation, chicks and brownies just make sure you dont confuse iceing with semen

Blogger Heather said...

You need a hobby.

Blogger Blonde said...

I sent a pic of my boobies to you. I am all about giving people what they want for their bday.

BTW, I am going to be in Vegas in 80 days ;). You and I are having some 'ritas together.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I haven't forgotten about the recipe; I'm trying to find it. It is handwritten, spattered, tattered and very, very loved.

I will find it.

Blogger Trevor said...

Damn, this is an awesome idea. I know what I'll be asking for on my birthday. If you get any takers, see if they will consent to sharing with the rest of us. I like brownies and boobs, either seperately or together.

Blogger mastershake said...

Heather, who was the comment directed twords?

Blogger yournamehere said...

dr. c,
we're all whores for something.

are you suggesting I might release on a pan of brownies?

thanks for the birthday wishes.

You rule, as do your boobs.

looking forward to the recipe.

I'll share the recipes, but not the pics. It's a matter of trust.

she was talking to me. Settle down, big guy.

Blogger Rachel said...

Todd, will you take a belated birthday lap dance?

Blogger Monkey said...

I'll gladly send pictures of my boobies. But they are quite furry. And I don't have nipples. Hope that's OK.

(By the way, I love the high concept of a Boobie and Brownie Birthday Party.

Blogger yournamehere said...

uh, yes. I love belated birthday lap dances!

primate tits, huh? I'll have to ponder that one.

Blogger Heather said...

It's not your birthday yet...I'll call you Saturday and breathe heavy into the phone.

Blogger yournamehere said...


Blogger Des said...

I sent you a booby pic, although it is not of me. But I figured some boobs would be better than no boobs.

Blogger yournamehere said...

right you are. Thanks for the pic.

Blogger Kristi said...

Good luck with that. I'm sure you'll get quite a turnout in response to your request. More boobs than brownies, I'm sure.

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