Thursday, September 22, 2005
Vote for Me
This post has a backstory; a rage-inducing, infuriating backstory. A few days ago I asked for boobie pics and brownie recipes for my upcoming birthday. My dear blogger friend Ubermilf promptly promised, PROMISED I tell you, an old family brownie recipe.

The next day, however, she decided to be a native-American giver and wavered. Instead of emailing me the recipe, she decided to let the readers of her blog decide whether or not I get it. Well, people are VOTING AGAINST ME. I have a one-vote lead as I write this. I realize this is a joke being played on me by Ubermilf, but people are voting that I not receive a birthday present. Silly me, I take that personally. None of these people know me or have any vested interest whatsoever in the outcome of this vote. Hence, the kind folks who are voting for me are doing so because they're giving and generous; the douchebags voting against me are mean-spirited fuckers who probably spend the holiday season at the mall telling kids there's no Santa. Let me make this perfectly clear: If you voted against me and have no idea who I am or only know me from a blog, KINDLY EAT SHIT. I wish bloody anal discharges on the lot of you.

I am asking you, dear readers, to go to and vote for me. You'll have to scroll down; it's not at the top of the page. I still love Ubie, by the way. I think she put up the poll to "bust my balls", not realizing how many cruel jackasses read her blog. Why do I think this? She's a strong willed person (which I mean as a compliment). If she decided against giving me the recipe she just wouldn't have sent it and that would be that.

At this point, the recipe is secondary. I want your vote for the express purpose of SHOVING IT UP THE ASS OF EVERYONE WHO VOTED AGAINST ME. Please help me out. Thanks.


Blogger Übermilf said...

Actually, I decided to send it to you no matter what.

But I, like you, am amazed at human behavior.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Oh, and I'll send it tomorrow, as my cold meds have made me slightly loopy.

there's a drink recipe on my blog, too, if you want it.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Boy, now I'm really glad I said nice things about you in that post.

Blogger Kath said...

Voted for UM to share the recipe as promised. And she should deliver them in person to compensate for the inhumane cruelty that has been bestowed on His Toddjesty by her blogging's that sound??

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

I already voted for you..

Blogger Evil Petting Zoo said...

You have my vote.

Blogger Crystal said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Seriously, Ubie just meant it as a joke. We give each other shit.

The recipe, by the way, is already in my fat hands.

Please everyone, reserve your wrath for the fuckers who voted against me.

Thanks for the votes, everyone.

Blogger Kath said...

Wonder which you will get more of...boob pix or brownie recipes??

Blogger JackassJimmy said...

Dude, I love boobs and I love brownies and as a fat guy and someone with a sense of common decency, you bet your ass I voted for you to get the recipe.

Fuck those mean-spirited, stump-fuckers who want you to get dumbski-ed for your day of days.

Keep up the good work.

Jackass Jimmy

Blogger katarina said...

Those better be damn good brownies.

Blogger Übermilf said...

The final vote was 25 to 17 in Todd's favor.

Blogger MollyNormal said...

What a whiny bitch. (You, not Milfy). I voted for you anyway, though, cuz I have some kind of bizarre soft spot for whiny bitches. *mwah!*

Blogger Heather said...

Happy early birthday Todd. I probably won't get a chance to tell you tomorrow. I hope it is full of tits, ass and lots and lots of chocolate.

And I voted for you to get it. We all need a little pleasure in our lives.

Blogger Egan said...

Todd, you rule. I love how you blogged about this and how it pissed you off to no end. I could feel the anger boiling inside of you as you typed this specific post.

Well, enjoy your special day tomorrow man. Ask out that cute barista at Starbucks or something.

Blogger JJ said...

Being from Florida, some of them might have had difficulty understanding the complicated ballot.

As for me, I can't remember if I voted or not, but if I did, I definitely, probably voted for you.

Blogger yournamehere said...

thanks for the recipe, and for putting me through hell. Ha.

ubie has kids, and I'm afraid she'd bring them with her to hand deliver the recipe.


thanks to you, sir.

you didn't have to delete your comment. I appreciate that you had my back. Thanks.

Blogger yournamehere said...

as of Friday afternoon the tally is one recipe, four "pairs". I won't name names but the four boobie pics are spectacular! These ladies rock and are HOT.

jackass j,
Thanks. We fat guys with a sense of decency need to stick together.

yeah, they'd better be.

I hope it burns when those 17 pee.

Damn, when did I ever insult you on your blog? Oh, yeah. Never mind.

Blogger yournamehere said...

thanks for the wishes. Probably no tits or ass but plenty of chocolate.

I was mad, until I posted about the scumbag who ran people down on L.V. Blvd. That put things in perspective, although I still hope the people who voted against me lose all feeling in their extremities for an entire week.

loved the Florida ballot joke.


Blogger Übermilf said...

Final tally: 33 to 19 in your favor.

Guard the secret well, my friend.

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