A few months back, I asked the readers of this blog, regular commenters and lurkers alike, to ask me a question, any question. I then answered them as honestly as I felt like.
Well, I've driven away many readers and at least for now have a few new ones, so let's do this again.
Ask me a question, about any subject, and I will answer it.
The Rules:
-One question per person, please; although it can be a multi-parter.
-Teachers, don't ask me academic questions. Stick to personal stuff and opinions.
-That's about it.
I'll answer the questions in the comment section of the post. Last time I did a separate post; but this time I'll answer in the comments so it looks like people actually like this blog.
Thanks a lot for your enthusiastic participation.
Well, I've driven away many readers and at least for now have a few new ones, so let's do this again.
Ask me a question, about any subject, and I will answer it.
The Rules:
-One question per person, please; although it can be a multi-parter.
-Teachers, don't ask me academic questions. Stick to personal stuff and opinions.
-That's about it.
I'll answer the questions in the comment section of the post. Last time I did a separate post; but this time I'll answer in the comments so it looks like people actually like this blog.
Thanks a lot for your enthusiastic participation.
106 Comments:
Have you had a postive relationship with a woman since you've moved to Vegas?
writeprocrastinator asks: Have you had a positive relationship with a woman since you moved to vegas?
Obviously, not one that lasted, but I did briefly date a co-worker. It was positive until it ended horribly, so I guess the answer is no.
May I have your baby?
How did you end up in Vegas?
Which is better: watching two women have the greatest sex you've ever seen, but you can't join in; or, you get to have the worst sex of your life, but you're actually in the saddle?
Things that make me go hmmmmm....
Do you ever get lint in your belly button? Or toe jam?
hoochie asks: May I have your baby?
After reading your great replies to Maxim's What You Need to Know About Women, I would love for you to have my babies.
princess ladybug asks: How did you end up in Vegas?
My brother's now-wife worked for t-mobile and was transfered to Las Vegas. My brother talked me into moving here. I still love him despite this fact.
eden (who's from Louisville and is my new friend) asks: Do you think that people who live together are fucking their roommate that happens to be their boyfriend/girlfriend; people who hate the word marriage, but are basically such; or somewhere in between?
I think just fucking partner, practically married, and somewhere in between are all true for different people. Of course, the problem arrises when one partner takes the arrangement more seriously than the other.
egan asks: Why do you beat yourself up so much on your blog?
Because I have the self-confidence of a depression-era matchstick girl. And sometimes I don't like myself.
joanne asks: Do you ever get lint in your belly button? Or toe jam?
I've had belly button lint, which is why I'm on a diet. I've never had toe jam, though.
me asks: Are there any blogs that you regularly lurk at?
Not right now. I might not comment on every blog every time I read them, but they're all aware of me. However, I used to read this strange but entertaining blog by a Canadian named Amy who seemed to only want comments from people she knew. The blog no longer exists, though.
ilovebawlz asks: If you're a russian to the bathroom, what are you in the bathroom and out of the bathroom?
If I'm a russian to the bathroom, European in the bathroom, and out of the bathroom I'm mostly German.
your anti-hero asks: If you could have a (serious) relationship with any blogger, based on their blogs alone, who would it be?
I had to think about this one for awhile. All of my female blogger friends are fantastic, and I email and talk to several of them on a regular basis, but if all I ever had to go by was their blog, and realizing that Ubie is married, I'd say Kris, who writes Not a girl, not yet a wino. Her writing is amazing.
kath asks: If you could compete in any Olympic event, which event would it be and why?
I would play for the U.S. basketball team. I'm not good at basketball, but it's the only Olympic sport I can stand and I'd like to meet NBA stars.
We're also sarcastic (ie: comment re: anti-social Canadians) ;o)
Cheska asks: Where do you hope to see yourself in five years, relationshipwise and careerwise?
Simply put, I'd like to either be married or on my way to married with a special person and doing something I enjoy as a career. Unfortunately, I don't have the girl or the job yet, which are two of the reasons I don't like myself sometimes.
pharmgrl asks: what are the chances of you meeting up with a fellow blogger and falling head over heels in looove?
I'm definitely open to that possibility. Meeting people the conventional way isn't working for me. I even blogged about wanting to me someone in blogland.
Since you are a viking...have you ever dated anyone in the low 5's like slightly over 5 feet? How does the sex work out? Do people giggle when you're out and about?
-monks
How long have you known your oldest friend and how did you meet?
monkey mcwearingchaps asks: have you ever dated anyone just over five feet tall? How does the sex work out? Do people giggle when you're out and about?
I love women of all shapes and sizes, so yes I've dated short women, I'd say the shortest being five-one. 69 proves quite impossible, and if it's up against the wall sex I have to bend down or lift her up. If people giggled, they did it behind my back, as usual.
you're a viking? does that mean you have reddish-blonde hair? Hilarious and a tall one. Dangerous....
pharmgrl asks: how did your relationship with your co-worker end horribly?
I know I imposed a one question limit per person, but since pharmgrl may be my future wife, I'll answer this one.
She went back to California for a week to visit her father, who was very sick. While there she reconnected with her high school sweetheart and ended up moving back to her hometown. So it only ended horribly for me. We had known each other for a year but only had been dating a short while.
melliferous pants asks: how long have you known your oldest friend and how did you meet?
I met my friend Kevin at age seven (fuck, I hate unintentional rhymes) when we moved into a new neighborhood. Of all the people I met that day, he's the only one with whom I'm still in contact.
eden,
I'm tall, but not a Viking. I have light brown hair, the top of which gets sorta blonde in the summer.
pharmgrrl,
I didn't mean anything by that comment. Feel free to come by the blog anytime. And I'm free this weekend if you want to get married.
What is the one question you are hoping and praying that no one asks?
And what is the answer to it?
claudia asks: what is the one question you are hoping and praying no one asks? And what is the answer to it?
I'm hoping no one asks me how old I was when I first had sex.
I was nineteen. Yep. High school pretty much sucked for me.
vegasvixen47 asks: Do you like older women? If so, how much older is too much?
I like older women because sometimes you can have sex with their daughters, too. Just kidding. I'm open to the older woman thing, yes. Too old? If you're 47, I'll say 48. Call me.
Todd, you beat me. Twenty! I love this post and your honesty. Rock on!
This whole picked-up-sex-against-a-wall thing turns me on. Maybe I should go on a diet.
Will you move to Italy and urinate Chianti with me?
What do you consider to be the five most important things that have happened to you so far in your life? Why do you consider them to be so important and how have they effected you?
... and as pharmgrl got two... can you answer this one too:
If I were a lollypop how would you eat me?
How much weight have you lost so far and was it worth it?
see, now, I just don't care about you.
Sorry!
:P
Have you ever been in love? How old are you? If you could live anywhere (money being no object), where would it be? What's your best vacation memory? (hey-didn't want to get scolded so i got in as many as i could). :)
Would you rather live in KY or Vegas?
Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child?
Your tall and have hair...that does it for me, I'm hooked! Don't you dare marry pharmgrl until you have given everyone else here a chance. Here is my mulit-part question..although I may ask another cuz I don't like rules.
Are you really ugly and what kind of job do you have(I'm too lazy to read archives)?
What's a taint?
;)
Actually mshellion, I think the correct question would be, do you like to play with your own taint? That's a much better question. And to partner it (since partnering was invited) and then do you like to sniff your fingers afterwards? ;)
-K
Toddiekins, rock, paper or scissors?
Will you be my Valentine?
Let me think about this for a minute.
egan,
hey, I would have waited until twenty-five if it meant I was happy now.
monkey mc,
don't lose an ounce. Any man worth a shit will pick you up just as you are.
tsld asks: What do you consider to be the five most important things that have happened to you so far in your life? Why, and how have they effected you?
1. My birth. That floating around in limbo shit was getting old.
2. My brother being born. He's my half-brother, so I'm half an only child, but I'm bratty enough without being an only child full on.
3. Going to camp. Seriously, I still to this day have great friends who I met at camp. I met my friend Dean there, and I was best man at his wedding.
4. Going to college. I regret not graduating, but culturally it was an important step.
5. Getting people to ask me questions. It's like a normal blog post, minus the humor.
tlsd ALSO asks: If I were a lollypop, how would you eat me?
Well, I would slowly unwrap you, then use my lips and tongue to make you dissolve in my mouth.
Kat asks: how much weight have you lost so far and was it worth it?
I've lost twenty-five pounds. I lost the first twenty much faster than the last five, however. Yes, it was worth it and even though I have my weak moments, I'm going to continue.
aughra,
I guess that little smiley symbol at the end will keep me from killing myself. I care about you, damn it.
da buttah asks: If Coca Cola went to town, and Pepsi went and shot him down...and dr. pepper came to fix him up...would they all drink 7-up? Or just say fuck it and stick with diet coke?
Hopefully, with all of those mixers, someone would bring a bottle of bourbon.
afromabq asks: Have you ever been in love? How old are you? If you could live anywhere (money being no object), where would it be?
I think I have been in love, but it wasn't everlasting true love.
I'm middle-aged.
I'd live in San Diego, have a condo near the Las Vegas strip, have a place in Louisville to party with my peeps, and I'd visit Chicago and London a lot.
Stumbling drunk down the streets of San Francisco at 2am during a rainstorm.
awe asks: would you rather live in Ky or Vegas?
Well, Louisville is the only city in Kentucky I'd even think about living in. I wish I'd never moved to Vegas, but now that I'm here and I have a job, place to live, etc, I'm very hesitant to move back and start over again.
monkey asks: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child?
No. I had a blankie.
tumbleweed asks: are you really ugly and what kind of job do you have?
You are direct. I do not think I'm the least bit attractive, but I'll email you a picture and let you see for yourself.
I work for a company that is hired by Home Depot to service, order, and display certain products. I'm a vendor rep. Good hours, weekends off, not great pay but more than I made as a retail assistant manager.
Todd... you're gonna be here all night... hahha... oh hang on what time is it there?
;0P
Trix asks: How many babies will we have together?
I would like two, and let's get started as soon as possible.
Will you ever post a picture of yourself on your blog so we can finally see the man we all love?
vv asks: Will you take care of me when I get old?
That depends. If you go all Ronald Reagan mushy brained on me, I don't think so.
kopalopa asks if I (or mshellion, I don't know) play with my taint and then sniff my fingers afterwards.
Jesus Harlen Christ, no!
rachel asks: Rock, paper, or scissors?
I'm a rock kind of guy.
little ol' me asks: Will you be my Valentine?
Yes, yes I will. Thanks for being the ONLY one to ask.
ubie,
take as much time as you need.
tlsd,
it's like two-thirty here right now.
brooke asks: Will you ever post a picture of yourself on your blog so we can finally see the man we all love?
No, I've emailed my picture to people but I'm not about to subject myself to public scrutiny. One person actually replied, "Well, looks aren't everything." Ouch. Probably the only honest one, though.
trix,
I would like one of each and I would like them both to look like you. When can we start?
DAMN IT! With all these women around I was sure you had a Valentine. Stupid of me not to ask first. Maybe I should just go ask Lou Reed.
Whoever said that should be flogged.
Hell we'll all flog em... didn't think I was supposed to ask you until the 14th... bugger... am I too late?
tumbleweed,
Lou Reed? Shit, you can be my Valentine, too. Or you could ask Lou's charming alter ego, since Ubermilf dumped him for a puppet.
brooke,
If I flog a woman it's abuse; if you do it, it's revenge.
trix,
I am going to eat nothing but lettuce until late April.
Todd, remind me to tell you about the dream I had about you last night. I will email you the cool details. Don't worry it was like we were lovers, but answer me this... do you ever wear yellow lipstick?
digital cowgirl asks: what is your favorite before-dinner bourbon and after-dinner bourbon?
Well, I don't know more about bourbon than an expert, but I know what I like. I would have Woodford Reserve before dinner, a Maker's Mark Manhattan with dinner, and a Baker's or, if I had the scratch, the Van Winkle 20 yr. old, after dinner.
egan,
you are really starting to freak me out, man.
princess steph asks: Which blogger would you choose to have a three-way with Jessic Alba?
Seriously, I'd pick you, Steph. You were thinking enough to ask the question, and I KNOW you'd be good at it. I'd probably leave the room with a dazed look on my face saying "Jessica who?"
You are THE object of my lust.
You had a blankie??? No Monkey? No bear? No elephant?
What cruel parents you had.
do you like me better as a woman or a sociopathic stuffed dragon?
monkey,
I had stuffed animals, but none of them really stand out.
calzone asks: Do you like me better as a woman or as a sociopathic stuffed dragon?
Definitely the latter. But if you could be a sociopathic stuffed woman, that would be cool.
rachel,
I will ask you the question: What is so not fair?
That I picked "rock"?
That is SO NOT FAIR!!
Since Vegas is filled with beautiful women, surgical enhancements, strip clubs, etc., do you feel that your expectations of a woman's physical beauty are higher than average? I, for instance, find pubic hair waxing rather painful, and thus avoid it. I don't think I'll ever get a boob job (for now, nature has rendered that decision unnecessary -- but gravity happens). I also have cellulite on my bum.
Has your exposure to all that real and manufactured beauty oversensitized you to the imperfections you'd find in "normal" women? I'm not trying to call you shallow here. It's human nature to adapt to your surroundings.
Ubermilf asks: it's a long question. Read it under "ubermilf said..."
As I said on this blog and others, I appreciate women of all shapes and sizes. I much prefer real boobs to fake, plastic surgery creeps me out, and I don't mind grass on the field.
As for Vegas being a mecca for beautiful women, maybe the strip is, but as I'm out and about in Henderson and the southeast side of Las Vegas, most of the people are just average, normal people. The suburban women in Las Vegas are no prettier on average than the suburban women in Louisville; perhaps less so. Being NOT PRETTY, I really don't have a lot of access to places where the beautiful hang out; nor am I sure I'd want such access.
As far as who I find attractive, I cast a fairly wide net. When I say, "I saw two hot chicks make out on the Strip" they're more likely to be cute cornfed girls from the Midwest than leggy California blondes. I like girls with meat on their bones, for Christ's sake.
Mssr. VegAss, I would like to jump on the picture request bandwagon. I also have another tandem question - what are you considering middle-aged? You refer to yourself as such, but I have no idea what that is since it seems to shift depending on the person and how old they happen to be.
eden,
okay, I'll send you a picture. I consider middle-aged to be about the age I am right now. Actually, I don't expect to live to be twice the age I am now, but by society's standards I'm middle-aged.
I do not request a picture. I demand one. I brought it up, and you've seen me. It's only fair.
what age is that? 35? 40? 45? 50?
brooke,
if I had the male equivalent of your good looks, my fuckin' picture would be plastered all over this blog.
However, because I care, I'll email you a picture.
You're supposed to visit me in Vegas anyway. You promised.
eden,
check your email. The truth has arrived.
Toddelah, how many hawt blog chix will it take to convince you that you are awesome?
And anyone who would write "well, looks aren't everything" should be kicked in the nutz with my fave pair of Aldo high-heels that I lost (*sob*). These are the ones that would make me just a foot shorter than toi.
monkey mc,
I ADORE my blog chicks. Really, they totally make my day every damn day. When I started this blog I never thought anyone would read it except for two or three people in Louisville.
But in real life, I'm lonely sometimes. Most of my friends and family are on the other side of country and I can't even get a second date, let alone start a meaningful relationship.
But like I said, without you guys it would be much worse for me.
Thanks for listening.
I'm with you on the friends and family, man.
Really, I don't have that many friends here, either. Most of my good friends are from school and they are all spread out. Then again, I hate most people so it works out for me. An evening spent entertaining abject idiots who often dub me "weird" no longer appeals.
I blog for the same reason you do.
"I was nineteen. Yep. High school pretty much sucked for me."
Holy shit, man, Member Number Two of the Club! I'd compare psychic wounds with you but I imagine you are in no hurry to relive those days either.
Wow! YOu've broken 100 comments! You're in triple digits, Todd. I'm impressed.
Have you ever broken the 100 mark before?
(Lame question, I know. But there were so many other good ones already asked.)
If you want a crass question, though, I would like to know your thoughts on circumcision. I recently heard it takes away some feeling for guys, and I'm now wondering all males' perspectives on this topic.
monkey mc,
it's hard for people with unique personalities, huh?
writepro,
yeah, the past is the past.
trix,
I'll send you a picture and you'll hope our kids look like you.
"willing to bet". My typing skills have been atrocious as of late.
cheska,
I'm just a picture-sendin' son of a bitch tonight.
eden,
she wasn't bad. Maybe my "standards" aren't as high as hers, though.
You and Monkey Mc are too kind to me, and I really appreciate it.
pants, you can ask as many questions as you'd like. I play favorites around here.
What is your most embarrassing story involving fecal matter?
mo,
my comments are screwed up. They're appearing everywhere, some out of context.
I've never had near 100 comments, but this doesn't count because half of them are my own comments.
How do I feel about circumscision? I know someone whose job it is to circumscise. It doesn't pay well, but he gets to keep the tips.
melliferous pants asks: what's your most embarrassing story involving fecal matter?
I almost shit my pants when I read this question. Does that count?
I had to take a massive crap in a lady friend's dorm room in college. They almost evacuated the floor. The night before I had drank a lot of beer and consumed many White Castles. I thought the sprinkler system would go off. I didn't get any that day.
I've got a couple of questions for ya: 1) When I finally get to Vegas, will you take men on a tour of the shittiest, trashiest bars and casinos that you blog so eloquently about? and 2) How cute is Eden?
I want a pic too please!
cincysundevil asks: When I finally get to Vegas, will you take me on a tour of the shittiest, trashiest bars and casinos?
Sure. To make it easier for us, book any hotel on Boulder Highway.
I'm assuming the second question is retorical.
damn you... I was bounced by Trix... and you missed me... I'm so not asking again...
;0(
egan,
I was kidding. I could tell by the context of the rest of your statement that you left out the word "not". No need to apologise.
cherry,
I don't understand the fervor over getting my picture. Once you get it you'll wonder why you asked for it.
tlsd,
of course I'll be your Valentine. You sent me the lovely e-card and everything.
... and I sent it after I'd seen your picture...
;0p
holy crap I missed out on the frenzy!!!
I think if I tried to pull the same thing no one would say anything because everyone knows my details... I think....
So questions questions.....
As someone who has had the opportunity to met bloggers in the flesh, is it an awkward experience? I have a long list of bloggers I would love to meet in some mass blogger reunion but the idea frightens me...
knitty asks: what is it like to meet fellow bloggers? Is it awkward? (I paraphrased).
The first time I met a blogger it was a little awkward but after that I was invited to a party here in Vegas and met a couple local bloggers and it just got easier. I usually have a drink or two and that mellows me out.
I hate to be a follower, but I think you are just so funny that I'll ask anyway. Could I have a pic too? I'll send you mine back and then you'll feel ever so much more attractive.
And if I lived in Vegas I would be stalking you until you promised to go out with me.
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