Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Director Kevin Smith Killed By Christian Extremists
Group Upset By Buddy Christ Image

by David Cleason, Associated Press
Director Kevin Smith, best known for his films Clerks and Chasing Amy, was fatally shot outside of a Los Angeles restaurant early Tuesday morning, allegedly by a member of an extremist Christian group that calls themselves CHRISTIANS AGAINST DEFAMATION.

Police arrested Martin Swendle, 43, of West Van Nuys, California, at the scene of the crime and have charged him with first-degree murder and violation of the city's noise ordinance.

Witnesses say Swendle approached Smith and angrily began chastising the director for the Buddy Christ image (left) used in the film Dogma. When Smith reportedly told Swendle to "eat a cock, fuckface," the suspect pulled a gun from his front pocket and shot Smith several times in the face and head. Swendle then threw the gun down and attempted to flee on foot, but was tackled by two of the restaurant's valets, who detained him until police arrived on the scene.

Witnesses also say Swendle made repeated references to CHRISTIANS AGAINST DEFAMATION, or CAD. CAD spokesman Clint Monroe, contacted by phone from the group's headquarters in Lexington, Kentucky, said "While we do not officially condone murder, it is our belief that Kevin Smith has now reaped what he hath sowed."

Outrage at Smith's murder has united the Hollywood community. Actor Gary Busey released a statement in which he both condemned the murder as an act of cowardice and complained of bugs eating away at his flesh. Director Quentin Terrantino, interviewed by CNN, said, "What kind of a fucking lunatic takes a human life over such a cartoonish image?"
Photo copyrighted by View Askew Productions


Blogger Karen said...

Wait a sec....this is a joke, right? I just read an interview that Kevin gave yesterday, talking about Clerks 2, and whether or not he was selling out.

Did this really happen??

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

I am such a tool, I had to search to make sure it was a joke.

Blogger Claudia said...

Well done, Todd. Bravo *claps*

I especially love that crazy're dope.

And by dope I mean "a dope".

(in a good way)

Blogger Kopaylopa said...

You made the BuddyChrist cry. BuddyChrist doesn't like you.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I think that Todd is making the point that as crazy as Christian Fundamentalists may be, the Muslim Fundamentalists can still kick their asses in a crazy contest.

Blogger katarina said...

God, you had me until Gary Busey was complaining of bugs eating his flesh. Okay, maybe it was the city's noise ordinance.

That was really good though. You should work for a tabloid.

Blogger n.v. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger da buttah said...

how can they hate him! it was part of the catholocism wow campaign! he's revitalizing jesus, making him more hip, more cool, more worthwhile...

oh, and when did jesus become lil mohammed? they gonna start burning shit and uprising soon?

Blogger Rachel said...

I love my Buddy Christ and I love you!

Oh, and I love Kevin Smith, now I must go on a rampage against those murderous bastid fuckers!

Blogger Nick said...


Blogger afromabq said...

That was so weird, I had to read it twice to understand if it was a joke. Ok - I'm slow. After reading comments, I get it now. You're funny! :)

Blogger tlsd said...


oh... Todd you are geeeeeenius... pure geeeeenius

Blogger Trix said...

I'm outraged! It should have been Jay that was shot, not Silent Bob.

Seriously...funny f'ing stuff!

Blogger Onyx said...

I personally subscribe to the following christian abbraviation: WWJA*?

*Who Would Jesus Assasinate?

Blogger The DogGrrrrl said...

It's a good thing we have people to explain what Todd's point is supposed to be. I'm a proponent of dumbing down cerebral satiric wit so we can all laugh laugh laugh, even the retards who laugh laugh laugh anyway and there will be no dumbing down of that.

Blogger miss kendra said...

buddy christ does not approve of this.

Blogger Egan said...

I love it Todd. I thought about posting something similar to this. That Mohammed cartoon sure is pissing a lot of people off. Good thing the Danish drawn Mohammed didn't resemble Captain Caveman, Captainnnnnnnnnnnn Caaaaaaaaaaaaavemannnnnnnn.

Blogger Monkey said...

I'm stupid. I actually looked it up on and then came back and read it again.

I submerge my head in a bucket now.

Blogger JJ said...

Wait... Buddy Christ isn't real? Great, now I gotta apologize for all that sex stuff all over again.

Another monkey here. I also snuck over to just to "make sure" and then came back here to finish it off.

Although, frankly, I think he should have been shot for Jersey Girl.

Blogger Candi said...

Yeah, I googled Kevin Smith just to be sure. I'm a tool. I blame sleep deprivation and the Bush administration. Again.

Blogger tango jellybean said...

I pass the headquarters of CAD every day on my way to work. I like to fling poo at their building. Well done, T.

Blogger digitalcowgirl said...

I'm assuming you picked Lexington as it is the home of UK (which I have read you hate) but really, why not Monkey's Eyebrow, Ky or Paducah?

And since I went to UK (although I hated it, still do) does this mean there's no chance of being roomies? What if I said everytime I see UK written I place a 'D' on the front and an 'E' on the end?

Blogger Monalicious said...

Have you started working for The Onion?

Blogger Debby said...

You had me going until I got to the "violation of the city noise ordinance."

Excellent post though. A+ for originality!!!

Blogger yep, it's me.... said...


he's a buddy

Blogger yournamehere said...

uh, nope.

you are one cute little tool, though.

Are you giving me a standing ovation? Are you lifting your shirt? Are you offering to blow a roadie just to get backstage? Yeah, I didn't think so?

it rains whenever I touch myself.

that point, and a few others.

I wrote for my high school newspaper, and we were some muckrakers.

comment deleted,
don't be shy.

da buttah,
you ARE da buttah, by the way. I expect rioting in the streets by the weekend.

Blogger MoDigli said...

I am SUCH A SUCKER! I questioned it at first, but then just beleived it until reading these comments.

Phew! I'm glad it's not real!

Blogger yournamehere said...

hasn't there been enough violence?

that was a little extreme. Dickwad.

I can be funny on occasion.

I'm growing my hair out like Einstein. Oh, and you're hot.

you can right out "fucking", babe.

Pat Robertson wants Jesus to carry a gat.

damn, you need to learn to play well with others. It's good to know you're still alive, but be nice to my peeps.

he shouldn't.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I think I just heard someone declare jihad against you.

give yourself a break. You're a monkey. It's not like you're a chimp or anything.

don't apologize. You were terrific.

monkey mc,
he probably should have.

I asked google to play along with the joke, but the fuckers refused.

you fling poo? Cool.

You went to UK but hate it? That makes you cool in my book. I'm serious: If I move back to Louisville I'll be your roomie.

I'd like to. They pay, right?

do I get a gold star as well?

that he is. You had a really nice HNT picture.

I fooled you? Ha!

Blogger Egan said...

I'm already going to the hot fiery place the believers call hell. I can't wait. Bring on the warmth.

Blogger MollyNormal said...

Hey, I was in that movie with the Buddy Christ. Me and Kevin Smith are homies.

Blogger The DogGrrrrl said...

sorry, my tolerance was low yesterday. after the re-read, i realize i sounded unlike my usual jollyass self. sorry fellow Todd-lovers for my rude ways.

I'm refilling on Tolerance. Oh, sorry, I read the bottle wrong, it says Stoli Limonaya.

Blogger Useless Man said...

Maybe he would still be alive if he had just remained Silent. Bob had some good ideas there...

What do you mean he's not really dead? Kevin or Christ?

Blogger yournamehere said...

hell? Is it a dry heat?

are you going to the funeral?

it's all good, mainly because I think you're hot.

useless man,
Christ lives in the heart of every stripper who ever gave me a lapdance.

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