Thursday, October 05, 2006
Does alcohol cause perversion?
Former Congressional Representative Mark Foley, who is accused of sending sexually suggestive emails to teenage boys, checked himself into a clinic for "alcohol addiction". Hmmm. Is this guy suggesting that liquor made him like young males? I've been drunk more than a few times in my life, and my intoxication has never triggered any interest in teenage boys. Thank God I never drank whatever Mark Foley was drinking. That must have been some strong shit.

I hope no one falls for this desperate ploy. At the very most, alcohol would have given this pervert a pair of pederist beer goggles and he would have sent explicit emails to less attractive teenage boys. It's like Mel Gibson blaming alcohol for his anti-Semitism. I know America is fucking stupid, but I can't believe it's stupid enough to buy this bill of goods.

But wait, there's more! Now it seems that Foley was molested by a clergyman when he was fifteen. So he was betrayed by a trusted authority figure, huh? At least he can empathize with his victims.

If I was a lawyer working for Mark Foley, I'd be one low-life son of a bitch...but that's not the point. If I was his lawyer I'd be working on other excuses:

"His dog ate his homework." It worked for me in elementary school.

"He was merely trying to see which of the teenagers were overly gullible so he could warn their parents." What an invaluable public servant.

"Well, Bill Clinton blah blah blah blah." When you're addressing a hardcore conservative it really doesn't matter what you say after "Bill Clinton".

"His soul was momentarily possessed by Satan." He could sell his story to Weekly World News. And maybe get it on with Bat Boy while he's at it.

Oh, and it seems like the Republican leaders of Congress have known about this for a long time. I suppose loyalty is a "family value", but loyalty to a predator for political convenience is just sick. And if the Democrats knew about this and waited till election time to drop the bomb, well fuck them too.

Finally, I leave you with a quote from Mark Foley himself, who crafted legislation to protect children from online predators: "If you even contemplate using the internet to solicit children, your life will be ruined." Bingo, motherfucker.


19 Comments:

Blogger Brookelina said...

If he goes to jail, he'll finally be able to explore that homosexual side of himself that he's been repressing all these years.

Blogger DickCheney said...

So you can clearly see why we needed to invade Iraq. Instead of people who would want to cut and run on 9/11, when Mark Foley came to grips with his difficult problem, which he was framed for by the liberal media, we just know that 9/11 until we got to the bottom. 9/11

Blogger Übermilf said...

I think he suffers from multiple personality disorder. The personality that sodomizes teenage boys is clearly a democrat.

Blogger Steph said...

Sick motherfucker needs to have his nuts put on a golfing tee and let me practise my back swing.

Blogger little ol' me? said...

That cunt-hater needs to have his balls tatooed with "I suck balls that barely have pubic hair". Let's see if that will cure his "alcohol addiction".

Why does this society think that if you do something wrong, admit it and then go into rehab that it will then be all better?

I'm for a public stoning of this son of a bitch.

P.S. - Hey bro, The world IS ready for "The Story." I've decided to harass you until you tell it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an utter Fucktard.

ps: come on Todds tell us 'the story'...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's a sad world after all.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ps our country won't survive if we turn this into a democrat versus republican issue...

Blogger Flounder said...

I heard that Foley wanted the President to lob some bombs into North Korea some time over the next few days.

Blogger Übermilf said...

M, you are so spot on about not making this a republican v. democrat issue.

If there was one crime that you'd think everyone could rise as one and condemn, you'd think it was pedophilia.

I am disgusted, and one of the saddest things about this whole sad affair is that everyone seems focused on the "scandal," and no one seems focused on making sure young people are properly protected.

Blogger Mark Foley said...

How come no one ever takes the other side of this issue. I mean come on, they were asking for it. I mean my bosses have known I did this for years. If the boys weren't cool with it, they wouldn't be my pages.

Blogger sonrisa morena said...

todd i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, and did i mention that i love you!!!!!!

this asshole needs to have his dick chopped off!! anybody who does shit like that needs have their dick chopped off!!!

Blogger Monkey said...

"Well, Bill Clinton blah blah blah blah."

I use this excuse all the time! It's quite handy.

Blogger katie schwartz said...

brilliant! so so right on the money!

Blogger Violet said...

Man, if anyone is going to break down that *particular* line of horrible, bad reasoning, it's you. "Pederast beer goggles," indeed.

And, yeah, here's hoping that we get some genuine concern, decency, and a productive fix from both parties on this one.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I'm drunk.

All I know is that if Bill Clinton were here right now, I'd be hollering "SHAZAM!"

Blogger Ms Smack said...

Shocking.

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer