In what had to be a subconscious decision to torture myself for blog material, I attended a Flea Market Sunday afternoon at the Kentucky State Fairgrounds.
Here is what I learned:
-The perfect accessory to go with bad skin and too much makeup? That would be massive cold sores. Ahhh...back to basics.
-A woman was buying her infant a one-piece jumper with Git R Done written on it, and local authorities didn't immediately seize the baby and sell it to people with better taste. That's what should have happened. Oh, and the woman should have been beaten in public to discourage others from following her lead.
-The morbidly obese in wheelchairs and parents pushing strollers are allowed to run over the able-bodied and/or childless. Resistance is futile, as their numbers are legion.
-It isn't wise to walk up to a man wearing a t-shirt which reads Eat. Sleep. Kentucky Football. and say "Is that their off-season training regimen?"
-NASCAR and metallic license plates? A winning combination!
-Who needs UV protection when sunglasses are five for a dollar?
-Traveling Flea Market vendors are the new carneys (except there aren't as many Asian carneys).
-It is unwise to attend a Flea Market when suffering from a massive hangover. I wasn't there very long, but I contemplated murder about a dozen times. Only the numerous opportunities to purchase fudge kept me from committing multiple homicides.
-The entire enterprise reeked of desperation, out-of-control consumerism, and fried dough.
17 Comments:
Sounds like fun. I used to go to flea markets in Florida a lot, and they sold boiled peanuts every 15 feet. I finally tried some, and the cajun ones were not too bad.
i miss flea markets. the one's here have fendi knockoffs, which just isn't the same as rattlesnake earrings.
i actually saw those.
The Old Maxwell Street Flea Market in Chicago was awesome. Now it's just a sad relic moved to another street to allow "development" for U of Illinois Chicago. Oh well.
Cold sores? Katie Holmes was there?
The entire enterprise reeked of desperation, out-of-control consumerism, and fried dough
Beautiful.
I grew up with a flea market fanatic. Ahh... the memories of those 5:30AM mornings, so we could get there before the "rush". She now has her own booth, of course. It's an illness.
The last flea market I went to, I was blinded by all of the rusted metal. It's junk. Throw it away.
aaaah so you DID get the funnel cake hmmm? what about corndogs? any corndogs???
So how was the fried dough?
you too fucken funny!!!! i'll some fudge ready for you tonight ;-)
i must admit thought i do enjoy flea markets!! you can find anything!! ANYTHING i say!!!
You have no one to blame but yourself.
cookie,
they have "german roasted" almonds around here. Very good.
vast,
luckily it was cold yesterday, or the muffin top would have been in full effect.
kendra,
have you ever seen a "bubble top"? It might be the most horrible article of clothing ever.
http://clearcreekmarketing.com/images/bubble_shirt.jpg
tracy,
all neighborhoods will one day be "developed" into oblivion.
mist1,
yes, she was selling airbrush images of her daughter.
monkey,
this one is only here one weekend every month or so. These vendors travel. That's an illness.
kat,
we have that kind of flea market a few counties over. It scares me.
phain,
no, I ate a huge brunch before I got there.
flounder,
see above reply.
kate,
thanks.
sonrisa,
oh, I'm ready for some of your fudge.
ubie,
that can be said about most of my problems.
I could have sworn I put a comment here...
Did you buy many Christmas presents?
I had a dream last night about hanging out with lesbian carney prostitutes.
What's a flea-market?
mmmmm....friend dough.
funnel cake and 6-pack socks for a buck? how ever do i stay away?
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